Happy New Year

It is almost 2013, the mayans were wrong and I have been on vacation.  Looks like it is going to be another interesting year for everyone.  Maybe I was just not informed at the time, but I wish we could go back have a year that started out without a fiscal cliff and massive debt.

Sometimes I wish that I could go back and be ignorant, stop watching the news and just get drunk on champagne like half of the world for new years. 

Maybe 2013 will be the year that I win the lottery and can stop working the 9-5!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all, now get off the computer and spend some time with your family!

Mayan apocalypse, gun control, etc....

The title should be enough for everyone on the world wide webs to want to tune in.  I have been mostly silent for the past few weeks with a whimper here or there, I was moving... so eat a dick.  Well this is my 200th post and I refuse to let it be a piece of shit!  Grab on to your asses....Here we go!!!!!!!!

1.  Mayan Apocalypse:
     Fuck yea!  This is one of the best reasons to drink since Easter, the solar eclipse, and breakfast.  There are actually people out there that think someone is going to turn off the lights at some point tomorrow, well I guess you have to believe in something.  I believe that if these Mayan fuckers were so damn smart that they would have made it to the end of the world.  (it is rumored that the original fast and furious started with them)

So grab you a ice cold brew and drink up fuckers!  If you make it to Saturday, keep drinking and celebrate that the Mayans were a bunch of fuckheads. 

2.  Gun Control
      I have be largely silent on the Sandy Hook tragedy.  Partially in respect, but partially to see what the facts of the matter were.  There is no way to describe it other than a tragedy, as a father I can not imagine the anger, fear and sadness that is sweeping through those families.  I keep them in my prayers.  I also pray for the shithead that killed all of those innocent children, I wish he could have received the help he needed which may have been the only preventative measure in this case.

On to the gun grabbing.....Everyone that I follow has pretty much said similar things, I agree with most of them.  I also have heard some views that scare me and some that surprise me.  The scary ones are the typical political talking head douche canoes.  The surprising one was from Ice T, who is the only person I have ever seen on TV take the 2nd amendment and describe its actual purpose, to protect the people of the United States from tyranny (not being able to go hunting).   The bill of rights did not give a flying fuck about people being able to hunt, it was to preserve the liberties of American people, hunting was a given. 

There is all sorts of other shit that I could ramble on about, but I need to hit the fridge for another beer and also need some content for post #201.  Thank you to all the people that have been putting up with my bullshit and to the only person to comment on a consistent  AngryMike!!

To those people that lurk around, throw out a damn comment and I will talk shit back to you!
 

Tragedy

I am still formulating my opinion on the shooting, until then check out my boy Angrymike.  He has some pretty good points Angrymikes hood

12's

Its the last time in our lives that the date will repeat!  Holy shit!  Run for the fucking hills!

Who cares! 

What really should worry you is the end of the world next Friday, my boy Angus brought up a good point.  The universe is going to rob us of a weekend!  That should get everyone pretty hyped up!  The Mayan apocalypse is upon us!

Signs of the apocalypse:

Justin Beiber is famous
There is a Honey Boo-boo


Ways to prepare for the apocalypse:

Lots of ammo and beer


So bring it on universe....if I'm going out, I'm going out drunk....

Costas! What a Douche!

I think the title tells the whole story.  Was he quoting someone? Yes.  Did he go full retard by saying what he did? Yes.  That is about the long and short of what I think.

I did love something I heard today about an NFL player not needing a gun to kill someone, I think it may have mentioned OJ Simpson.

I could go on for a few more words about how I think he should be ostracized for his lack of compassion by turning a tragedy into a political shit show.  Or how he was poo-pooing violence while getting ready to watch extremely large athletes run at each other at full speed  and go boom.

I think it has something to do with the duality of man.

Now show me your war face!!!

Costas! What a Douche

I think the title tells the whole story.  Was he quoting someone? Yes.  Did he go full retard by saying what he did? Yes.  That is about the long and short of what I think.

I did love something I heard today about an NFL player not needing a gun to kill someone, I think it may have mentioned OJ Simpson.

I could go on for a few more words about how I think he should be ostracized for his lack of compassion by turning a tragedy into a political shit show.  Or how he was poo-pooing violence while getting ready to watch extremely large athletes run at each other at full speed  and go boom.

I think it has something to do with the duality of man.

Now show me your war face!!!

Hooray!!!

So last post I was bitching and moaning about not going shooting in quite a while.  Well guess what?  I still haven't put one round down range.  Shitty!

But on the upside, today is closing day on my house!  The house I have tried to sell for 2 years, it was a great house, but that fucker just wouldn't let go of me.  I finally pried its hands off my wallet and sold it while feeling a bit butthurt about having to pay to sell my house. 

Onward, we have been looking for some great houses just outside of Charlotte and of course need to find one that come equipped with a panic room, walk in cooler, root cellar, gun safe room, secret passages, and a house gnome.  Its harder to find than one may think. 

I'm just going to settle for a garage big enough to house a beer fridge, my toys, and a workbench and defer all other decisions to Mrs. Redneck.  C'mon house!

Ohh yea, going to be doing a lot of 12oz curls in celebration of the closing.  Feel free to drink along with me, I might even try to live blog the beers I will be drinking (hint: they are all domestic and lite)

Lack of things that go boom

I need to get out and go shooting! It has been over a month since I have made anything go boom!  How did I let this happen?  I have been a slack ass!

Solution: IDPA match in the very near future

Ever since I started competitive shooting there has been a part of me that wants to tell normal ranges to fuck off!  I no longer look forward to shooting down a 3 foot wide alley.  It sucks. 

I need to go work on my form nonetheless....

Done!

Finally done with moving all of our shit out of casa de redneck! Closing the end of the week.

Ready to get into a new house ASAP with some more room and my very own playroom (read garage). It's going to be on like donkey kong ( yeah, I fucking said that dopey ass shit).

Pack it up

The packing is in full swing in the Redneck household.  We have boxes galore and should be ready to roll this weekend.  Why move the weekend after Thanksgiving?  Cause I like to make things a pain in the ass!

So the interuption in my ranting continues for a short time more.  I know that all my "homies" (to use a Biden gaffe) are chomping at the bit for me to start slinging some content that is worth a shit. 

But until then I will continue to bore you with details of packing and moving! 

Crunch time

We are approaching the exodus of our humble abode, therefore we are packing like crazy which has prevented me from posting a whole hell of a lot.  Truthfully, I haven't been a diligent as I should have been in the last month or two. 

Hopefully we will get packed the hell up and get into our new place quickly.  We are moving a bit out of the city limits of Charlotte, but not quite into the country as I would like. 

I will try to update over the next little bit. 

Update #1 - packing sucks a fat one


Side note:  Big thanks for my biggest view day ever at 149 views!  A large part of that was from Ireland, so cheers to the boys across the pond!  Apparently my nonsense is huge with the Irish, probably due to my constant mentions of drinking.

Ignorance is bliss

After the election, I have decided to start an "ignorance is bliss" campaign. 

I am not going to be watching the news in the AM, I am not listening to talk radio, but I am going to be checking Drudge / Fox / Twitter intermittently to keep up to date on the current events.

It has become a part of my life that creates undue stress, I have enough stress in my life, so I have decided to remove it and keep my radio tuned to some smooth jams.  OK, so maybe AC/DC is not smooth but it is fucking badass driving music. 

I am on day 3 and so far my stress level is at a level 3.7 out of 5. 

This is an improvement of code red level 5 on election night. 

Veterans Day

I know this is a day late, but THANK YOU to all our veterans.  Your sacrifice allows us to live safely in the greatest country in the world.   

Question for the gun nuts

What are your favorite gun / shooting websites? 

I have a few that I frequent, but am always looking for something new to waste time on. 

Hook a brotha up!!!

Back to the Grind

Getting back into packing mode trying to get ready for our move later this month, I have a lot of shit!

Should be relatively uneventful, hopefully.  I will try to keep the bitching to a minimum.  So to entertain you I have included a short video.

Well Shit! Gun Sales edition

Let the gubment hand outs begin.


Just a note for the republicans, get a candidate that is not a fucking moderate.  This is some bullshit.  Every time we worry about the fucking independents!  Just pick an actual conservative and see what happens. 

I know the gun industry is doing back flips thanks to the re-election of the best gun salesman in history.

Gun Post...finally! Pocket Pistol Edition

I know that I began this journey with some badass posts about guns then I went and began ranting about politics and stupid shit like McD's fucking up my order.  Well here you go on the gun tip!

Pocket pistol!

Yea! I said it! What of it! 

Over the years I have seen a plethora of people for/against pocket carry.  If you listen to the argument they range from people not wanting anything less that a full size 1911 (who would carry anything less?); to people that would rather not carry anything, than carry a puny little .32 cal pocket pistol.  Well guess what?  I am a huge fan of pocket pistols! 

Would you like to know why?

Cause they are fucking easy to hide! 

I am not one fortunate enough to be able to wear my Blackhawk pants with my tactical boots, tactical socks, riggers belt, tanto blade SOG and douche vest to hide the 20" bull barreled AR-15 that is my EDC weapon.  I forgot to mention the full size Limited Edition Tactical Kimber 1911 with light that I carry SOB loaded to the gills with 4 back up "clips".  

If you actually EDC an AR-15 due to being an armed service member, THANK YOU!  Please disregard the rest of the nonsense. 

Well guess what?  I have to wear slacks and at a minimum a golf shirt daily.  This fashion choice prohibits me from carrying anything other than a pocket pistol, which is my little Kel-tec .32 (originally bought during the .380 shortage).  It is comfortable, it fucking works, and it is small enough that I actually carry the damn thing on a daily basis.  So I guess you could put me in the group of people who believe the gun that you carry is the best kind of gun.

Do I think that a .32 is the most effective round?  Fuck NO!  Do I think that anyone would want to get shot by one?  Fuck NO!

If you can find a way to squeeze a .50 into a pocket (must fit in a normal pocket) pistol that can shoot without ripping off my hand, I will by 2 tomorrow. 

Would I rather have a .32 than just my knife?  Any fucking day of the week!  At worst case I can really piss someone off before I subject them to my back up .22 derringer that I keep in my handy dandy taint holster!  Remember 2 is 1, 1 is in my taint. (don't worry! I keep it in condition 3) 

So in summation, if you want to carry a gun, buy a gun you will actually carry.  Then carry the damn thing!




So you wanted a gun post?  I hope I didn't disappoint.  



There will be an election post! Just you wait!

It's for your safety

Well, it sounds like Baltimore has officially gone down the shitter along with the rest of the north east.

The gubment is going to start recording all conversations on their buses. But that's fine, it going to keep you safe!

http://t.co/iJRdWiWg

What do you think about this one? I find it funny how if you mention "big brother" you're a nut job. But when it happens are you still nuts?

Let the Boo-hooing begin! Douche Canoe edtion

It doesn't matter who wins, the other side will be bitching and moaning for the next 2 months.  Hopefully DOG 2012 will pull this one out.  She has mentioned that pooping in the neighbor's yard is the best revenge.  On the upside, those shitty ads will (hopefully) be off my TV.

I am a fan of the commercials sometimes, just for the hyperbole.  You get some not far from  " (insert GOP candidate here) forces old people to cook meth in their bathtub, if you vote for (insert democrat here) I will not make old people cook meth in their bathtub.  This message paid for by the anti-oldpeoplecookingmethcoalition.org"

Speaking of TV, does anyone else loathe the Geico commercials with the two douches (douche canoe) playing the guitar and mandolin?  Hey I have a question for Geico.  How fucking annoying are your commercials? More annoying than a political ad...go fuck yourself. 
 

Got our home inspection for the sale this morning, wish us luck!  Hopefully we will be good to go for the closing on our hacienda.

Gotta go to work!

Cock punching...old people edition

This is funny / disturbing...commentary below



Does anyone else feel the excuses coming?  How many times did they reference "stealing the election"? 

Think they are trying to start the narrative?  Let me break it down for you!  This is the best way to go into the election.  The commies win they can say, "see even with you trying to fix the election, we still won!"  If the commies lose they can say, " you stole the election, so you didn't really win!" 

Its like playing ro-sham-bo with a eunuch! 

I am a most irreverent person, however this is a bit over the line during election season.  Politically, I want to say "if a republican did this, the media would shit a brick".  However, the measuring stick is slanted in the commies direction.

I really hope 'ol Mitt wins...then Fox News should run an ad that says "Nanny nanny boo boo- stick your head in doo doo!

Truth! Voter Guide Edition

Brought to you by
Doubletroubletwo.blogspot.com

Stole this one from Angrymike!  

I do have to point out the typo on "Air Jordon's".  Pretty sure its Jordan, nonetheless its quite accurate.

Victory! Townhome living edition

We finally got an offer on our house.  It had been for sale for a while and I had given up hope of it actually selling.  This is some of the best news I have had in a while.  Looks like the rednecks are going to be moving on to a, hopefully, bigger domicile and town home living will be in our rear view. 

For those of you that have never lived in a townhome, I do not reccomend it.  Especially if you are planning on having a family of any size!  The lack of outdoor space is a huge drawback!  Finally we get to start looking at bringing our stuff out of storage. 

Awesome! Guest Post

My buddy Angrymike has some great content, this is one of the best ones I have seen!  

Angrymikes hood: Totaly looks like........: Yep

Vote

Go out and vote. 

I voted today, still can't figure out why you wouldn't go vote.  This is a big deal, kinda like picking which beer to buy when they are all the same price.  (answer: Bud Light).  

Anyone with a brain know why the electoral college exists?  Seems like bullshit to me. 

So let me get this right, the popular vote, which is who gets more voters overall, doesn't mean shit.  However the Northeast and California comprise a majority of the people that get to decide who runs the country. 

What they need to do is elect DOG 2012!

Today, she thumbed her nose at the commies by licking her own ass in their general direction. 


Also, I would like to say thank you to Mrs. Redneck, she is the best in the world, for all the love and support she gives me and DOG 2012.  I am the hype man, she is the campaign manager.  Please contact her for any of your DOG 2012 merchandise. 



Would any of you buy a Southern Style shirt?

Debate...sucked...DOG 2012 edition

That was some boring shit to watch...I went to bed at 9:45. You know why?  Cause that was boring as shit! 

I did like Barry's "the 1980's called and want their foreign policy back"...Oh yea!!  Well the 1990's called and they want their joke back! 

We need to skip the debate and just have a cage match between the two candidates.  First one to tap out loses the debate.  For foreign policy debate they should dress as their favorite country, Mitt could be America and Barry could rock the rooskies' hammer and sickle.
 
It would be like Rocky, featured here once before. Tell me you wouldn't pay good money to hear old Barry say "I must break you"


I would also like to thank all the douches on facebook for trying to guide my political views, it has changed the way I viewed the election and am now voting for my dog.  Her foreign policy of shitting in my neighbors yard is spot on. How can you beat a policy like that?  Wake up, shit on the commies' lawn, eat some breakfast, and take a nap.

DOG 2012 

Debate Hype!

Alright boys and girls, the final debate is upon us!!  We get to see banter the likes of which have never been seen.  This one will have it all!  Laughter, crying, and a guest appearance by Ron Paul in a non-optimal outfit. 

I am a bit biased, but I think the smart money is on Ron Paul to pop out of the audience in his oversized suit and school both of the candidates on foreign policy. 

So stock up on booze and take a shot every time Obama says "that's not true" or Mitt throws out his "five point plan". 

Chug a beer anytime either candidate tells a half-truth....fuck it!!! Just drink a case a beer and save having to keep score!


Ohh yea, fun in the news - depending on which news you watch gas prices are going to sky rocket, or drop!


Also - go hit up http://shop.balloongoesup.com/ ....Ron has a badass store

Debate fest!

I wish I would have slept for the first 45 minutes of that damn debate, it was a fight to make me want to drink more.  Romney was touting his 5 finger death punch plan and Obama was hyping his "fairness is the way to prosperity (read socialism)" without an actual plan. 

Points I actually liked were right before I went to bed around 10 (yea, I'm a slack ass). 

Romney's answer to the immigration question, that was a good answer in my book.  Actually made it sound like illegal immigration was, well...illegal. 

Romney's beat down right before I went to bed, seems like he went on a 5 minute ass whooping fest of Obama's policies and record

Obama- sounded rhetorical at best, loved reading about his gun-control answer this morning.  Headlines should read  "Gun Sales Soar".  Gun shop owners must love this guy! 

Can we get a moderator that doesn't look like a man?  I have given up on getting one that is not biased.

What did I miss?  Any favorite quotes?

Getting Hyped for the Debate!

I am getting hyped for tomorrow's debate!  Hopefully it will be a repeat ass kicking for the current Pres.  I am stocking up on some beer and sustenance to help me wade through the BS.

How was the VP debate?  I wasn't able to watch it, I was on a golf outing with my buddies and politics was not on the schedule, drinking was. 

Butthurt! Media Bias Edition

Man, I'm sure Obama is really butthurt about the state dept. coming out saying that the Libya attacks were never about that piece of shit movie.  It amazes me to watch how the media treats the US people like a bunch of morons.  (insert if it was a republican rant here)

Its not just the if it was a repbulican, I don't care who the hell was trying to mislead the US people!  The media should be on this story like white on rice!  Why is the everyone so damn eager to make this administration look like they haven't shit the bed?  You're the media, your supposed to report the news not cover up for the guy you want in November. 

They fucked up!  That should be the headline.  That or "They Lied".

Who is getting hyped up for the VP debate, I'm curious to see how Biden looks after having been kept out of the public eye to protect him from himself. 

Just to get you ready for the debate, here is a preview of Our VP Joe Biden

This work thing keeps getting in the way

This pesky work thing keeps getting in the way of sending y'all some badass content!  I will have some shenanigans en route shortly.  Just bear with me a bit more and I will post a video of something to entertain you.

Debate

Awesome fucking debate!

Obama Phone!!

First, as I do from time to time, I have to apologize.  Not for my content, if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself, but for my lack of content.  I have been working like a dog for the past 2 weeks and have not had time to get this blogfest rolling properly.

On to the shenanigans!

Obama Phone!

This sums up the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, he gives people shit and they continue to vote for him.  What else can be said?  This is fucking ridiculous!  If you want to know my view of welfare, feel free to check out my post badmiton / welfare cheating...really? Butthurt warning


It's people with this mentality that are ruining our country...they have found out that they don't have to do a damn thing, except vote for more socialism (obama).  I would love to give these people a job, just so they know how much it sucks to have to pay taxes so other people can get a fucking free cell phone.  (aka: getting kicked in the dick)

Actually for the lazy ones, I am still offering my services - "Get kicked in the dick free of charge here!"

Update: AngryMike has stepped up to the plate to offer a free ass kicking to round out the package!

I don't know who said it, but there is a quote that I am going to butcher...it goes something like this:

"Why is is called greed to want to keep money you have earned, but not to take money you have not?"

USMC 50 Cal Bottle opener help!

I need some help, I am looking for a 50 cal bottle opener for my father in law.  I have the NRA version, once he saw this he flipped! 

Any help is appreciated, he is a USMC Vietnam veteran (helicopter gunner who shot a 50) and I would like to hook him up with a kick ass birthday present. 

Does anyone know where to find one of these??


Thanks for the help in advance!

Girl drink drunk

Had a great weekend, got drunk as hell due to a buddy getting married.  The hangover was not as bad as my birthday, but needed some fixing none the less.

Enter girl drinks!

I am not one for the fruity drinks, but as I was perusing the "eye openers" menu at the resort I saw the mali-bu bay breeze.  In my defense, I am not a huge fan of Bloody Marys but will drink them from time to time.  The mixture of malibu rum, pineapple, and cranberry juice offered a light and booze filled breakfast drink.

I am hooked, as far as breakfast booze goes, this is the best way to get a little "hair of the dog"!  In tribute to this new revelation, please enjoy this video. 

For those of you who read this and thought, "dude is gay". Go fuck yourself, I'm a girl drink drunk!

Romney Gaffe!!

By now, I am sure you have heard about Romney's quote about how 47% of Americans will vote for Obama because they are on the gubmnet dole.

"

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.

All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.

That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.
…These are people who pay no income tax."

Holy Shit!! Stop the fucking presses!  If this surprises you, then I have some great oceanfront real estate in Kentucky I could sell you (it comes with a free kick in the junk).

The liberals are running with this like they just stole it and the second hand liberals are lead blocking!!! 

This is Obama's plan, get as many people as possible on the gubment dime so they can't fend for themselves and continue to vote me into power.  The other guy is going to steal all your free money... that money is rightfully yours! 

Other people worked, produced something, and sacrificed their time and taxes to make this country great enough that we can afford to have the "right" to free money for free loaders.

I am glad that he said this, its true!  I am also a bit butthurt about the fact that it took this long for this to come out.  Its not like this is news. 

If you feel that he is wrong for saying this, I am starting a line to the right for a free kick in the junk (that's what it feels like to pay taxes).

Yes I am wearing my state approved dick kicking shoes...Safety first!

Monkey pants! and shirts and gear and toys

Just discovered a badass site called http://milspecmonkey.com/. 

If you have not had the time to check it out, stop what you are doing and go check out some great reviews and toys that you probably will not be able to afford.

I want to buy everything that I have seen thus far. 

We need to make rubble bounce... Foreign Policy 101

That is a quote from the Nuge! 

Well said to say the least about what has happened in the middle east recently.  This is not one of those situations that we need to apologize for being American.  I mean seriously, you think this is about a movie?

We need to give everyone within a 10 mile radius of our emabassay in libya a memo saying,

"if you are reading this, we are going to flatten your domicile and the surrounding 300 ft.  if you don't evacuate in 10 min, you too will be flattened....your welcome for all the foreign aid, which is now revoked. 
Sincerely,

The Fucking USA!"


In all other countries, we need to post a sign on the wall of the embassy.  Is should read something similar to this -
" Please do not come close to the wall surrounding this emabassy!  If you should touch the wall surrounding this embassy, we will shoot you in the face. If you do not agree to those terms I suggest you go the fuck home and not touch the wall.  If you touch the wall, you will be dead.

Sincerely,

The Fucking USA!!!"

This is my foreign policy if I should ever run for office.  Redneck 2020!! Fucking 'Merica!

I'm not sure if you are receiving what I am trying to get across here.  The fact of the matter is that we are the FUCKING USA!  The best damn country in the world.  We make the rules! We do not apologize to our enemies for offending their sensibilities.  They apologize to US for existing and being a pebble in our shoe. 

The next message they should receive from the best country in the world...

"You picked on the wrong fucking country.  Suck it, enjoy the rubble that used to be your town.

Love Always,

The Fucking USA!!!!"

New Follower, Mohave Rat!

Yo! Got a new follower with some good content

Go check out his blogfest at http://mohaveratstwocentsworth.blogspot.com/. 

Never forget

How could you forget? I grew up hearing about where my parents were when elvis died, or the moon walk.

Are parents explaining to their children the significance of 9-11 and what actually happened?

If not, why?

Its like 1984...but in HD! Big Brother eat your heart out!

This story snapped me out of my week long hangover!

Who said that everything is better in HD?  Everyone, that's who!

Why should the FBI be relegated to trying to track your movements through a grainy, ever growing network of cameras?  Really, they are people too!  They can't be left in the friggin dark ages!
How do we solve that issue?  Give them $1 Billion to implement their facial recognition project.

Whew!  I was scared for a moment!  I actually thought that our privacy was at stake, or that we wouldn't be able to walk through town without our pictures being logged in a never ending database.  Never fear!  Our gubment wouldn't let something that absurd ever happen.  They would do whatever they could to protect our rights as citizens of the best nation in the world right?

This is exactly what has happened, the gubment has found a way!  Through their new Facial recognition they will be able to keep us safe!  Their goal "is to reduce terrorist and criminal activities by improving and expanding biometric identification and criminal history information services through research, evaluation, and implementation of advanced technology."  Sounds harmless enough.  I think that they should just break down and start a buddy system where every US citizen is partnered with a federal agent taking out the possibility of them not knowing the consistency of your most recent bowel movement.

Have one of these cameras that you see in an intersection actually stopped anything from happening?  I have seen a few alternate views on America's funniest home videos brought to you by one of these cameras, but that's about it. 

So next time you are driving through an intersection and see a weird black box next to the stoplight, or wonder why the hell there would be the need for a camera on a telephone pole in the middle of a street; just smile, wave and say hello to the $1 billion that is making the world safe!

The sad part is that once this makes the news they have probably been doing it for about 6 years!

Weeklong Hangover!

Sorry for my lack of content for this week.  As I mentioned earlier this week, it was my birthday week. Thus, I have been in a haze for much of the week.  Throw in labor day and all I did was drink like a union worker on an assembly line. 

My liver tried to escape, it even punched me in the pancreas! 

In my 20's hangovers didn't have shit on me!  I could booze till the cows came home and pop up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00am.  No problem.  I hit my 30's and...well suffice to say it sucked.  Didn't puke, but wish I had!

There were multiple causes for this hangover:

1. not eating during the day- This was my fault, like a moron I had a salad for lunch.  Not quite the base you want for a night of boozing.

2. Craft Beer - Holy hell this shit is like moonshine and it was going down like water! 

So what have I learned now that I am a wise 30 yr old? 

Nothing....I still feel like a stupid 20-something and will probably bring in 31 the same damn way!!!!

B-Day Gift-Fest!

Got some badass b-day gifts! 

50 cal bottle opener!  Who would have thought that you could combine 2 of my favorite past times?  Rednecks, thats who!  They have been getting drunk and shooting since the beginning of time!  But for the not so red, you can get a 50 cal cartridge that is a bottle opener.  Very nice!

Shooting glasses!  Scored me a nice pair of Remington amber lense shooting glasses.  A welcome upgrade from the scratched beyond all get out pair of walmart specials that I am currently using.  

Camo hat....Why because camo goes with everything, it even has the Panther's logo on the front surrounded by blaze orange! 

Decorations were also well done by the wife, 9mm rounds with little bows tied on to them.  She sure knows the way to my heart. 

All around a great way to bring in the dirty 30! 

Now get the fuck off my lawn!

Damn kids!

Labor Day...I ain't doing shit!

"you know I'm not a pro-union guy Cap!"

This is one of the best holidays ever and the fact that it is the day before the DNC is very appropriate.  So in honor of all the people living off my tax dollars, I shall join them in the act of not doing a damn thing. 

I would try to go snag some form of handout, but that happens downtown and I'm not venturing anywhere close to the city with all the DNC non-sense going on up there.


Farva!!!

Birthday! Everybody get drunk!

My birthday is approaching, I am turning 30?!  Can I really be that old?  I guess so, due to a recent few interactions with people.

At the gym:

Me: Can you tell me what those chains from the barbell are for?
College aged kid: ugh, Yes Sir! They are for accommodating resistance.

He called me sir, I appreciated the answer and being polite.  But he called me sir!  I'm 30 not 40!  This is some bullshit!

I am aware that I have a few gray hairs, but I don't think I am a "sir" yet.


At the store buying beer:

Me: Do you need to see my ID?

Cashier: No, your good.  (note: this was at a walmart, not the store I go to on a weekly basis)

I think this is a prime time to have a mid-life crisis and buy a Ferrari, unfortunately I haven't had enough ads clicked yet to afford said Ferrari.  Based on the ad clicks from this site, I can buy a miniature hotwheels Ferrari...just like the real thing!

Next stop...telling those youngsters to get the fuck off my lawn!!!!

Gun Toys! Stag Arms Excutive Survivors Kit Edition

Ususally I would like to throw you some badass ideas about the cool shit that I see online, but this speaks for itself.  Its minimalist, it will get you through about 3 days on bare bones and you get a badass rifle / case combo out of it!  I would take one of these in a heartbeat! 

Personally I think that the pre-packaged BOBs and survival kits are for the birds, but this looks pretty nasty without the shitty mirror and whistle that come in most BOBs. 

Check it Yo! Stag Arms Executive Survivor Kit

IDPA: Match day with live updates...now with results

Just got registered and getting ready to start the festivities. Wish me luck!

I am going to try live updating for the stages.

10:12 first stage begins. Dude in my squad has copious amounts of chest hair coming out of his shirt
Just shot first stage only down 1

10:42 second stage here we go
Lots of distance on this stage lets see how I do
11:00 just shot, shat the bed on movement but did good on distance
Down 21 with 1 ftn. Shitty

11:13 stage 3 looks fun
11 down pretty good stage. Having fun!

11:34 getting hot! Last stage in the sun. Here we come shade! Get some!

12:09 stage 4 lit it up! Only down 1

12:46 stage 5 down 1 still kicking ass. This is like my golf game, shoot well but blow up on 1 hole we will see if I can pull out a top score like last time

1:12 waiting on the group ahead of us to get done with the stage! Come on bitches hurry up! I got cold beer waiting on me at the casa!

1:24 still waiting.... This rest period is throwing off my game

1:52 shot last stage down 13 not horrible but not breaking any records. All around good day I'm ready for next time!

Back at Casa De Redneck and kicking back a few cold ones and try to forget that second stage and the chest hair on that wookie that happened to be in my group


Please keep in mind when judging me for the scores that this is only my 2nd match ever! So when you look at that stage 2 score...eat it!

I hit the top 5 in my group!  that second stage can suck a fattie!  on to the next one

1000 Views!!! Bacon edition!!!

I surpassed the 1k a few days ago, but have been busy a hell for the last few weeks it seems.  I haven't even had a chance to get some hardcore practice done for the IDPA match this weekend.  I am going to be on it like white on rice. 

I had been wondering what to blog about for the 1k view fiesta, and settled on the fact that I was not going to write about politics being that it is so close to the election.  I am not going to write about badminton.

I am going to write about something that is near and dear to my heart, BACON!!!

Bacon is the world's best invention ever!  Ever since Sir Francis Bacon invented bacon the world has been ever grateful!  This salty meat snack is a flavor fiesta for your taste buds.  There is thick bacon, thin bacon, applewood bacon and pecanwood bacon.  There is no dish that is not well complemented by the lovely flavor profile of these tasty strips of swine.

I even tried to make bacon infused bourbon...did not turn out well, but I would never blame the bacon...must have been user error since bourbon is second only to bacon.

One of the best things ever is the spin offs of bacon.  From chocolate covered bacon, bacon soda, bacon pancakes if you are looking for something bacon related please visit Bacon Freak.

To quote a T-shirt given to me by my sister : Bacon is meat candy!




I am getting my IDPA goober vest embroidered with:
Powered by Bacon!

Thank all 1000 of you for looking at my drivel over the past few months, I do this to keep me sane and hopefully entertain someone other than Ace (who still to date is my only comment).  So hook it up with the comments and I will keep slinging the bullshit!  

Gun Toys! generally cool shit edition

If you have a gun safe, its usually crowded.  I have no idea why mine is overflowing with crap, I need to get in there and clean it out.  When I do that I am going to be hopping on the bandwagon with http://www.storemoreguns.com/.  These guys have some amazing solutions for the lack of space in that gun cabinet of yours.

It looks a bit pricey, but it keeps your precious pieces from getting dinged up and allows you to use the shelves for your other random shit.  Definitely going to be adding a few of these to my Christmas list


Paracord Bikini.  What else could be better, in every survival scenario there are two constants...the need for paracord and the need for boobs.  This fulfills both!


Nike+Fuel.  This is a cool little gizmo that tracks your movement turning it into fuel.  It sounds like a pedometer but better. As with everything, you can link it to your iPhone.


Airvent Wall Safe.  I am a big proponent of having a safe.  It keeps stupid people from getting into your stuff.  This nifty little guy fits in your wall and looks like an air vent.  I'm guessing its not bomb proof, but should keep the lazy nuckleheads that are looking for your goodies out for a bit.

IDPA practice...golf edition

My practicing for the match next weekend has been sidetracked by golf.  Golf, shooting, and fishing are my hobbies, unfortunately for me they are all expensive and time consuming. 

I have rationalized that by playing golf I am working on my grip strength and overall fitness (especially if I walk), so technically I am practicing for my impending match.  I played yesterday shot an 89 and am trying to get out today if it stops raining...

The next question is should I buy new golf shoes and a wedge or put that towards shooting accessories?

Also, I can have a few beers while playing golf...try doing that at an IDPA match. 

Nearing 1000 views which is pretty cool for me, I can't believe that my titles have enticed 1000 people to read my nonsense.  Get your asses ready for the 1000 views post, its going to be fucking epic!

IDPA...practice edition

I have begun my training for my IDPA match next Saturday, you want to know how?

By hitting golf balls and drinking beers!  Bring it on bitches!  I am going to dominate this match. Practice shall start tomorrow without drinking any beers, cause ya'know that whole guns and booze thing is not the best combo. 

I am enjoying my day before practice, practice...bring on the dry fire!!!!

Gun Toys: Green Laser edition

I need a laser for my pistol like a need another hole in my head, but for some reason I feel the need to get a crimson trace green laser. 

Got to give it to My gun Culture for a bad ass review on this new laser.  I am a big fan of the green lasers, they are easier to see and all around gnarly.  Wouldn't mind slapping this on my Glock for a few rounds at the range, it also looks ideal for home protection. 


Blog note:  I feel that I have been a bit angry sounding in my posts lately, it because there has been a rash of political douchbaggery. 

Gubment Motors, lets take over all the industries

I am a few days past due on this posting but couldn't let it go unmentioned.

Obama has finally said exactly what he wants to do, nationalize everything.  I am impressed with the honesty, usually he says one thing then finds a way to bend the nation over.  I haven't heard a lot about this in the news, but El Rushbo is on top of it.

Socialism at work

The gubment has no reason to be involved in any industry.  If your company is making a crap vehicle, you will lose customers and go out of business.  There will be other companies eager to increase their production in order to gain the market share you lost.  That is how a free market works.

Gun Toys!... DIY Oil Filter Suppressor edition

Oil Filter Can - Thanks Guns.com

Great little idea...yes
Effective...yes
Would I do it....NO

This is one of those things that is great in theory, but screwing a oil filter on the end of a gun, I would reserve it for a zombie apocalypse scenario. 

I don't want anything on the end of my gun that is not designed for bullets to pass through. 

Could be a great addition, could make your gun blow up...

I bet someone is putting an oil filter in their BOB as we speak

READ THIS! HOLY SHIT EDITION! HR 6357

Disclaimer:  I cannot find a full printing of what this bill entails, however based on the title, it is a travesty that we as Americans should ever feel it necessary to pass a bill with this title.  

This is one of those topics that most people should be able to agree on, HR 6357.  This bill prohibits the extrajudicial killing of American citizens.  Do we actually need that as a bill?  Are we in danger of being killed extra-judicially? 

I feel that needing a bill with this title means that our gubment can kill us whenever they want whether or not we need killing. 

Sorry if you missed it...prohibits the extrajudicial killing of American citizens. !!!!!!

Does that sound a bit off? 

Come on people!  How the hell is this acceptable?  Our gubment should be able to kill whoever it wants whenever it wants!  Right!!!  Screw the judicial branch of gubment! Right!!!  Screw the bill of rights! Who wants rights anyway????!!! Especially if its not approved by the gubment!!

I don't give a shit if you lean left or right politically, I think we can say that no bill has been submitted with a title like this under a republican....Ohhh wait I think there may have been one ( I will award a prize if you can name it!)

This is a wagon full of bullshit!  I don't normally link to pages I feel y'all wouldn't call noteworthy, but this one seems pretty on point  US Congressman Dennis Kucinich introduced HR 6357, a bill which aims to ‘prohibit the extrajudicial killing of United States citizens’ by the federal government. In other words, in the Land of the Free, they need to pass a law to prevent the government from indiscriminately murdering its own citizens.

Can you answer those questions honestly?  How do you feel about those answers? 

I would like to see a full posting of what is in the bill before I give it my full backing, please link to it if you find it...but based on title (which in gubment speak means they are going to use it to approve another way to screw you) it sounds promising

What do you think?

Gun Toys: Ruger 10/22 takedown

Figured I would weigh in on this since no one has reviewed this gun yet. 

How do you improve on a legendary .22?  Make it packable!  This is a great idea! 

The 10/22 was one of the first rifles I learned to shoot when I was in the indian guides (back when you could still call them that, but that is another post all together). It shoots straight, doesn't have a kick and costs about $.005 per shot. What more could you ask for? 

Ruger continues to improve on their classic designs, from the 10/22 to the Mark series plinkers.  The 10/22 was a great gun to take out into the woods, but has now become one that you can shove in your pack for the impending onslaught of squirrel zombies! 

This has made the short list of toys I would like to purchase in the near future, I will update once the first shots have been fired.  My guess is, if its anything like a normal 10/22, on target with about 200 rounds following shortly thereafter. 

Here is one of the few reviews of the 10/22 from Guns.com

Second hand liberal

This is a term coined by the redneck wife.  It is a great description of many of the people that I know.

Second hand liberal - noun - person who is fanatical about leftist views without doing any actual research on their own.  Political views are developed by facebook posts, believing obama ads, peta commercials and the occasional rachael maddow clip.   

If you are a lefty and came by it honestly, then good for you.  I don't agree with a damn thing you believe in, but I respect your freedom to be wrong.

These people are also the same ones that preach tolerance and peace, but when they don't agree with the stance of people who support chick-fil-a they pray for the patrons to "choke on their chicken sandwiches". 

If you think the Al Gore created the interwebs, your probably a second hand liberal...and a douche.

Chick-fil-A! Butthurt edition

A day late...I have intentionally held off on this topic till all of the nonsense of the week had run its course.
Here is what I am thinking on the Chick-fil-A nonsense.  First I am going to lay down what has happened...

Mr. Cathy, the Pres / big swinging D of Chick-fil-A came out saying he doesn't think that (to quote Caleb) "fanny-bangers" deserve to get married. 

1. Does this surprise you?  This Corp. is extremely Christian and value oriented. So why is that weird?  He's hard core christian and he doesn't approve of gay marriage.  Holy Shit!  I am amazed!

2.  It is a private company!  Why the hell should he care if you approve of his views or not?  They are exactly that...his views, he is not killing anyone.  Give him a break. 

3.  It is a damn good sammich!  Whoever picks the restaurant they eat at by the politics of management has too much free time...or is just looking to get butthurt over something.

4.  Free Speech!  This should have been number 1, but my organizational skills are lacking.  If he hates gays...then guess what? Who the hell cares.  If he is gay...then guess what?  Who the hell cares.  Refer to point #3

5.  Tolerance.  This is my favorite one!  I salivate about this point.  You know why?  Because the people that have coexist and tolerate stickers on the back of their priuses are the ones calling for this guy's head.  Gays are the new black, its OK for them to hate your for your beliefs, but freedom be damned if you don't agree with their lifestyle.  Whatever you do behind closed doors, is your own god damned business.  I don't flaunt the fact that I enjoy the company of a woman, don't flaunt whatever you like.  You want tolerance?  Then learn to tolerate the people that don't agree with your point of view, the rest of us have been forced to do just that, bite our tongues out of fear of being labeled a racist or homophobe.
I consider myself a libertarian/ conservative...and by doing so, I am forced to listen to a shit ton of douche-bags because I believe they have the right to speak their mind.

So the next time you run into someone who is preaching "tolerance" tell them to look into exactly what that means and then tell them to go fuck themselves.

- that "kiss in" looks like it went over like a wet fart
- despite what you see in the news, more people disapprove of same sex marriage than agree with it...look at the law recently passed in NC, also CA approved a ban on gay marriage.



Glad that this douche got fired...this poor girl at least has a job and is trying to better herself.
Hey douche...go fuck yourself

Badmiton/Welfare, cheating really? Butthurt warning!

Cheating in an Olympic sport that isn't really a sport shouldn't count.  Also cheating in a format that rewards poor performance should be expected.  Hmmm... That sounds very familiar!  Sounds a little bit like some welfare.  (brace yourself...someone is probably going to be butthurt about this one)

First, I must apologize to my redneck followers out there.  I have been out for a week and it has sucked.  I need to get to blogging on the phone, but the iphone and long sentences are not friends (kind of a weak excuse since my sentences and grammar suck).   I will try to be better.  Work is going nutz, and none of you have hooked me up with a publisher or a sponsor so no constant supply of Booda.  I am working on a ballz out power point presentation for my meeting tomorrow.  Back to the nonsense!

Maybe you haven't heard it, but I have!  They have updated the work requirements to be eligible for welfare, at first glance that sounds awesome.  Let’s get those free-loaders to actually do some damn work!  Not so lucky, according to the new regs quitting smoking, massage therapy, and helping people move qualify as working, therefore free money from uncie sam! 

You may be amazed, but I am actually cool with that paragraph.  You know what I am not cool with, is me working my ass off to the point where I can't even keep you guys updated for an entire week!  Ohhh, that and the fact that 20-30% of my paycheck is stolen from me every year to pay one of these ass clowns to quit smoking.

The next bit is going to sound insensitive.  It is…some people need assistance, but a majority of people on it are just lazy pieces. I would prefer we allow all military to retire after their service (4 yr min) and not work a day for the rest of their life.  They have done enough for this country.  Also, under my plan, if you serve, then the below paragraphs would not apply to you as you would not be on welfare.

Also, welfare should be exactly what it sounds like....SHIT.  Welfare should be a shade above prison (old school prison…no TVs, weights and mandatory communal showers).  It should be a last stop before homelessness.  It should allow you the bare necessities to SURVIVE!

No cars- if you can afford a car then you don’t need welfare, if you have rims…

-         There are bus routes near public housing for a reason!  No its not convenient…neither is working 40+ hours a week

-         if you cant take the bus…get a bike worked until the early 1900’s and most of China is still a big fan

No cell phones – really…you need a cell phone.  Home phones work pretty good, and I’m betting they are free in public housing.

No smoking (anything) - Smoking is a luxury, one I enjoyed for a few years and still miss…however, when I was broke as shit, I either rolled my own or stopped.

No Drugs – Again…a luxury, if you can afford drugs, you shouldn’t need assistance, if you are using your assistance to purchase drugs, then you shouldn’t be getting free money

No TV – Don’t need a TV to live!  Hell me and the Mrs. Redneck cut the cable tie all together when times got tough, it was a rough week getting used to it… Now I am actually enjoying the monsoon that renders my dish useless

Around now in the post you are probably thinking, “this redneck is one insensitive SOB”.  You may be right. 
I would like to hold the people of the US to the same standards that I hold myself, I don’t expect everyone to work their asses off, nor do I expect everyone to excel.  Find a way to furnish the bare necessities and learn how to survive.

If any one is looking, for 100k/ yr I can give a hell of a shiatsu massage

Olympics! WTF is with the Berets?

Olympics are in full swing!  Now we can begin to see how much the rest of the world sucks compared to the US, Germany, China, England, and Africa (too many nations to mention and they all kick ass at running). 

Now on to the opening ceremony...what a piece of shit!  That was the most boring opening ceremony I have ever watched.  Cool idea gone wrong! I could have done without the first 2 hours all together.   I don't care if he directed slumdog millionaire, the opening was a slumdog piece of shit.  The Brits could fuck up a wet dream.

Could we shorten the list of countries that are announced at the opening ceremony, hell even the Queen was bored as hell and I'm pretty sure she is at the point of senility. I think that in order to get announced the country should have at least won one medal in the past 50 years.  It doesn't even have to be a medal in an event that matters, I would accept the interpretive dance with the ribbon as acceptable. 

On to the f'ing berets worn by our team!  Who the hell thought that was a good idea?  We look like a bunch of pansies, yes...I am saying that wearing a beret makes you look like a douche.  The only people who can wear a beret and not look like a douche are in some form of service (green berets, special forces etc.).  We need to find the douche bag who made the decision to take fashion advice from the french and revoke his citizenship.  Who in their right mind would decide to outfit the worlds best athletes in a damn beret!

Yes, I was implying that the french are a bunch of douche bags! 

Bar Stool Economics

Haven't seen this one in a while, so I borrowed it from SHTF Plan

I am a big fan of a flat tax.  That is the only way "everyone pays their fair share".  

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for a beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.00
The sixth would pay $3.00
The seventh would pay $7.00
The eighth would pay $12.00
The ninth would pay $18.00
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.00
So that’s what they decided to do. The men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with arraignment, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
“Since you are all such good customers, he said, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.00.
“Drinks for the ten men now cost just $80.00
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $ 20 windfall so that everyone would get there “fair share?” They realized that $ 20.00 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!
And so:
The fifth man like the first four, now paid nothing ( 100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of 12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid 14 instead of 18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before! And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20“ declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right, shouted the seventh man. “why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in union. “ We didn’t I get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalist and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
Hat tip Brother Slavo via David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. The original author of this simple guide is unknown.

IDPA addiction! noggin muffs edition!

I've got a fever!  and the only prescription is more IDPA!  I am jonesin' to get my ass out and go shooting! 

It has been a few months since my last outing!  Need to dust off the goober vest and get some rounds down range.  Am I the only one that feels the need to get out and shoot ? Hell No!  Do I need to stay home and spend some time with the little redneck and redneck wife?  Hell Yes!

Unfortunately I can't bring the little redneck to the IDPA matches otherwise she would be there no problem.

Solution - someone please make hearing protection for a 1 yr old that they will actually keep on their noggins!  That could be my million dollar idea, except for the fact that I am blabbing about it on here.

Therefore I am now trademarking the noggin-muff 1000 (for 1 yr olds), noggin muff 2000 (for 2 yr olds) etc.  Don't try stealing my idea without at least throwing me a case of bud lights! 

Sorry for being off topic- no I will not be going shooting this weekend - yes I am inventing noggin muffs - no you can't steal my idea.

Miller Lite and Pool Time

You know, the only thing better than a miller lite is a miller lite with a pool surrounding my happy ass!  Hit the pool for a few hours after getting done with the J.O.B.(still waiting for a pay check for blogging or shooting..hint hint)  It was glorious, not enough beer was consumed, but enough to make it wonderful. 

There should be a day during the week that is just for chilling, I call it Wednesday!  Tomorrow I am in some meetings, those should be exciting.  But after that I am hitting the pool, you know why? Cause its the effing pool! That's why. 

Kicked in the Dick!!

Yo!  Check out Uncle's post, you can find it on the right side of the page.  Well said sir!  I think we all need to get some dick kicking shoes!

Denver Shooting

I was going to write a piece on the shooting in Colorado.  I might still.  But in the mean time please head over to A response to the attack in denver . 

Natalie has provided us with a well written, thought out, and relavant piece that not only applies to the shooting in Denver but all horrific situations. 

Banning something does not keep bad things from happening.

Red, White and Crue!

So I broke down and became a van owner today!  Holy hell that thing is huge!  I can play raquet ball in the back of it.  One of the best things about buying a car is the haggling, good times.  The second best thing about buying a car is waiting for 2 hours to get in the back to sign the actual paperwork that matters. 

I would gladly pay an extra 400 bucks to get that shit done or take a colonoscopy if there is going to be the time.

As I pulled up to the redneck residence, blaring "Girls" by motley crue, I felt that somehow I am that badass dad driving a mini-van; not the dad that is wearing a sweater that was put on his shoulders at prepcon. 

Charlotte Prepcon!

How the hell did I miss the first one? Wedding!  It was a sacrifice that I was willing to make, open bar and some good food will tear me away from a lot of things. 

Back to the prepcon, this looks to be a good time that I will be attending and signing autographs for all my followers, just look for the bearded redneck with a camo hat on...I should be the only one. 

I am a big proponent of being prepared (no I don't think zombies are going to take over the world).  Why not, you prepare for everything else in your life (work, kids, purchasing a mini-van).  It is good to be ready for the non-foreseeable events that might take place.  Living in the South, we are exposed to hurricanes which is a great reason to keep some food and water on hand in case the power / water goes out and you can't get to the store. 

There are a million reasons to get prepared, hurricanes, tornados, zombies, the mayan calender ending etc.  But the main point is to get prepared, you don't need a BOB but a dedicated bag that has a flashlight, a couple bottles of water, granola bars, and a first aid kit should be the absolute minimum.  This goes double if you have kids.  

Hell even the gubment recommends that you be prepared with a 72 hr kit of some sort. 

Worst case scenario, you can live in the woods for a few days if you Mother-in-law comes to visit.  For Mother-in-law I recommend stashing a few bud-lights in the woods as sustenance.
 

Guess this is why I carry a Glock

I thought the timing of this post by Caleb worked out too well with me about to purchase a new ride.  What kind of car is your gun?

I am way too practical, but I like my cars like I like my guns...reliable!  All I want either to do is work when I expect it, I don't need any shiny metal or fancy features. 

I also drool over other peoples guns, much like I do other peoples cars.

So what kind of gun is a mini-van?

New Car...nonsense

Looking at buying a new car...let the games begin! And may the odds be ever in your favor!  I think I might break down and opt for a mini-van.  I fell like such an old man!

I'm not even 30!  I should be buying a Tundra and putting puppy crushers on that bitch!  But nooooo!  I am looking at a Honda odyssey like it is a rare ribeye with butter on top. 

Back in the USSR! Fireworks edition

Apparently I have re-gained some of the notoriety that I thought I had lost.  Mother Russia is back on my map of views with a vengeance!  I would like to say, Da and welcome back!

To help with all the Russians that are reading the ramblins of myself, I would like to let you in on what all the rednecks think you are like...





To help the Rednecks, this is what the Rooskies think you are like...



Southern Style...  Helping people connect, one movie clip at a time!

If you would like me to help explain any other stereotypes I will be more than happy!  The joe dirt is pretty accurate when it comes to fireworks and rednecks, I have never met a russian so I assume they are all like the dude from rocky.

Pretty sure all these stereotypes love AK-47s; who doesn't love a gun that will run with 3lbs of dirt in the action?

Holy Shit! 500 views

I have just realized that my 500 views is a drop in the bucket for most people.  Well guess what?  Its a lot for me so suck it!  Being that it took me only 1/2 a month to get to this milestone, my next update will be around 700 or so, but I don't really know when the mood will strike me.

On the eve of my 500 views I present a fantastic feat of comedic genius...if you haven't seen the full stand up, it is F'ing hilarious.

Enjoy ladies and gents!

Fishin' Update

Man, we didn't catch much other that a bit of a buzz.  We got 2 bass and a few sunfish, it was a tough day on the lake.  It started out raining, got humid as all get out, then cleared up.  The only thing that kept us from leaving of getting drunk as hell was the weather.  Got some lake time in which is always better than working. 

Fishin'

Heading out to go fishing at some point this weekend!  Finally, its been way too long since I wet a line! 

Anyone got a suggestion as to what the bass are hitting on currently?  The water should be a bit murky since we have had a monsoon every other day it seems. 

Hook a brother up with some suggestions, will post the pics as the fish come in!

Gun Toys .22 edition

Great article on the survival guns, namely the .22.  .22 Rifles for Survival. 

I don't care if you are a fan of the 9mm vs .45 argument, one thing most people can agree on is that the .22 is a cheap and fun way to get in some trigger time.  It will work for hunting everything from squirrels to beer cans and everything in between. 

Did I mention that it is cheap?

Update on iPhone

Big fan of the otterbox camo case for the iPhone, works like a champ...you know what else works like a champ, red wine.  It is quite delicious.

iSouthern

So I broke down and finally gave up on my android POS (piece of shit) phone that I had fought with for 2 years.  Apparently the strain of my day to day was more than it could bear.  I have joined the league of hipster douchebags and bought an iPhone. 

Upon purchasing this phone I am fully qualified to lecture you on: global warming, tight jeans, economics, going green, eating right (read vegan), tom's shoes, wide rim glasses, buckwheat pillows, health effects of green tea, vintage everything, being ironic, why you should be ironic too!, fair trade coffee, the plight of the (insert country here), lightbulbs, living in my moms basement, trying to find a job "that pays"(read 150k right out of college), deforestation, raising chickens, WWF (not the wrestling one), WWF ( the wrestling one), comic books, paul frank, physics, "being metro", why being metro gets chicks, occupying anything, douche canoes, and why being a hipster is cool.

I'm not saying that having an iPhone makes you a hipster douchebag, but it might. 

 In all honesty this is a pretty badass phone, I can see what the hype is about.

They also make a case that has realtree camo. 

400 views...free computers!

To tell the truth, I thought that this blogging thing would fade after about 30+ posts.  I keep getting views so I am going to keep the ramblings coming in hot!

Thank all 400 of you and the 3 people that have clicked the ads, I am only 297 ad clicks away from the free computer I mentioned in the 300 views post.  Its a clever title that gets people to come check the blog and then get sucked into the world that is Southern Style.  Also a side note to the jokers who think I actually proofread my ramblings, suck it (you know who you are).

In honor of the 400 views I bring you a piece from one of film's greatest achievements.

Also good advice if you are trying to pick up chicks. By my calculations 60% of the time, it works everytime  


Disclaimer: do not do this to try and pick up chicks, not saying it won't work, but it might get you a trip to the pokey

Butthurt

No, I am not really butthurt about anything currently, I really wanted to use that as a title to a post.  I'll tell you who is butthurt, my child.  She is currently cutting about 3 teeth at the same time and is very butthurt to say the least.

Its amazing that you can take a relatively normal child and introduce teething and she turns into an angry drooling midget.  The nice part is that you can give her some cottage cheese and all is good in her world.

On second thought, I am butthurt.  After her morning nap, the little redneck decided to drop a deuce the size of a VW bug.  As I was changing her, she decided to put her hand in said VW bug, which then got on my hand.  Great way to start the day!! 

Ace- Thanks for the comments

If you don't know what butthurt means, you need to start watching Workaholics

AMERICA!!! HELL YEAH!!

Happy 4th of July everyone! Thanks to all those who serve this great country! Lee Greenwood says it best! This song should be looped on every radio station for July 4th!

Realizing I have been trained

This is some bullshit! 

As you know I am rocking it bachelor style this week, which is pretty chill.  However, some ass face is running around behind me putting the toilet seat down after I hit the head.  I have searched the entire house, gun in hand, but there are no ass clowns about, much less a toilet nazi roaming my halls.

Then it hits me...I have been trained!  Damn women ( yes the entire gender)!  What the hell, at one point I was a dude who put the seat down for no one...then today I realize that I have been putting the seat down for a while now (pretty sure it started when my lady was pregnant with the little redneck).  That was out of commmon decency, who wouldn't put a seat down for a pregnant lady? 

Turns out it was a 9 month training course, I have been bamboozled! 



On a side note, bachelor week is sponsored by Bud Light and toilet seats in the upright position.

Jimmy Fallon Sucks

Is anyone else tired of the "who doesn't want cash back?" commercial. 

I wish that every time Jimmy Fallon shows up on TV, the baby would take its diaper and shove it in his face.  He is quite possibly the most annoying person on TV today (that includes his show late night...does he still have that?).

Fingers are crossed for Jimmy Fallon to have a poop face for 4th of July.   

You know what I think would be fun, have the baby from the investment commercials comment during the cash back commerical. 


Ohh yeah...by the way Jimmy Fallon SUCKS!


favorite commercial is William Duvane(sp) for Goldline, one of the most exciting commercials ever! 

It's Friday, Craig!

The first beer is being cracked...(wait for it!) NOW!! 

The weekend has begun!  Have some fun filled days planned, unfortunately no shooting is involved, might get to shoot a match the 2nd weekend of July. 

Temp here in the Carolinas topped 103 by my car temp.  Drinking beer is allowed at any time of day as long as the temp is above 95 degrees.  This is the reason I don't live in Arizona or Mexico, I can't afford the beer. 

Next week is bachelor week, therefore the posts will be flowing.  Get pumped for some good stuff! 

Enjoy the weekend, stay cool and hydrate often (preferably with beer)

Open Carry

I agree with this in principal, however I also side with the officer. I suggest that you comply with the laws in your state regarding this interaction. The cops just want to get home to their families

Where is the bottle opener

Wow...this is awesome, it looks like it is missing the TV remote

TPS Reports...Mid-life crisis edition

If you haven't learned through reading all of my ramblings, I dislike my job.  Its not really any particular part of the job, I just really want a job that I actually enjoy doing.

I am currently experiencing a late 20's early 30's midlife crisis.  This crisis is not brought on by lack of schooling or not being good at the jobs I have done. 

I attribute this to our current school system.  The current model is that you go to school and then college, you graduate and get a job that pays well.  Sounds awesome right?  Well it is if you don't give a shit about what kind of job you will enjoy. 

I graduated school, went to college, got a degree and went to work.

The results-

Job #1 - Not too bad, but not mentally stimulating - Hard labor
Job # 2 - OK, but don't like the job - Sales
Job # 3 - Not a fan, but the money is great - More sales in same field


So I have arrived at the idea that I need to do quantum physics while welding! 

Any suggestions?

Also if there are any publishers out there I have a great idea for a book based on this blog post...I could become a writer, while welding.

Slack ass / Krystal madness

I am a slacker, I had a wedding this weekend in which I got a bit on the loose side.  That and then a 6.5 hour trip back on Monday, and back to work with an event last night has left me with less time than I anticipated.  Until y'all start clicking my ads, I am forced to work. 

On the bright side, I did get some Krystal last night, was it delicious?  No!  Why would someone be so cruel as to put a Krystal on the side of I-85?  This is fare that should only be enjoyed whilst drunk as balls, needless to say as I was driving, I was not drunk as balls.  But it did conjure fond memories as I ate a chili cheese pup.

I will be back on the blogging tomorrow.

300 Views! Free Computer

Holy hell!  I have surpassed 300 views!  I would like to thank the academy, http://gunblogblacklist.blogspot.com/, and Ace for all the comments.  This is a great way for me to waste time and hopefully entertain a few people with my rants and raves. 

At 300 views I look back at my audience and I would like to ask WHTRG (where have the russians gone)?  My views 100-200 were mostly from the USSR, not sure why I am popular over there but beggars can't be choosers.  Actually, I am a chooser and a beggar, and I want to know why the rooskies no longer view my blog.  I did pick up a viewer from Indonesia.  

On my way to 400 views, please feel free to suggest topics, rants, or anything that you will find amusing.  That being said, if you don't suggest anything, I take that to mean that everyone loves my ramblings. 
Your welcome.


I was going to put up some badass video, but my computer is a piece of shit and almost crashed as I was putting this up.  Click the ads and help me get a new free computer!

400 views is going to be one hell of a video, I promise.

In Russia, blog writes you!

Taco Belle

Why is it that Taco Belle sounds so delicious when heard, not spoken but whispered with the fear that merely uttering its name will cause it to disappear. 

I call it Taco Belle because it is a very fickle bitch, it looks and sounds delicious but much like a southern belle it is never a good as you dream it is.  Taco Belle is that crazy ass bitch that everyone is scared to even talk about.  "yeah, I want 22 tacos with fire sauce" is never uttered by a sober person, mostly because they have the ability to remember how shitty their last experience was at Taco Belle. 

I really wouldn't mind 8 tacos and a nacho supreme, if anyone is going.

Tacos Rule!!!

How to solve the global hunger problem

There are starving people in America; you have seen it on TV, read it in the papers, hell even your parents told you about the starving people in china. 

Well here is an idea, kill all the damn canadian geese in NC and you could feed the nation for at least 6 months.  Holy shit, I saw at least 60 today at one lake.

 If I were a homeless person, I could eat like a king.  I know that killing an animal out of season is illegal, but why adhere to the DNR's rules when your smoking crack.  That may be the problem all together, there are starving people in America but they just don't know it cause they are high on crack.

Its called not being a douche

Caleb addresses reporting issues during matches

No one likes a tattle tale, especially when playing a game.  Coming from a sports background, if the ref doesn't see it then it didn't happen.  Coming from a golf background, call you own damn penalties...its called integrity.

Shooting sports are much more akin to golf than a normal sport, you have to call your own fouls even if the SO/RO misses it.  The best part about these sports is that you learn a lot about yourself.  So call the foul if you want, but if you don't you're a douche.



I wish there was a counter I could install that would register every instance of douche.

Gun Toys

Some lube to get your through shooting a case of tulammo  Slipstream.

As a side note, makers of slipstream feel free to send me some to review.  I am still waiting for Bud Light to send me a free case to review.

Why does all this crap happen in NC

Well written piece by Tam  Uh, because it's wrong

Why does the crap like this always seem to be happening in NC.

Goober Vests / IDPA Practice cont.

I will have to admit, the goober vest performed well last night at practice. It has certain weight and movement that worked much better than the open shirt I had been wearing.  It didn't do crap for the lack of A/C at the range, it was hot as hell...I was sweating like a whore in church. 

I maintain that I probably looked like a douche while wearing the damn thing. 

Shooting went well, just wish I didn't have to drive 45 min just to practice.  I am cool driving a distance for a match, but just to practice is a pain in the butt. 

Scores were -1, -10 (that was shooting as fast as possible) and a -3.  I am happy with my progress and plan on keeping up with the sport.  Any sponsors looking for a newbie to add to their team?


note: If you are trying to figure out the goober vest thing please refer to the previous IDPA Practice post

IDPA Practice

Gonna hit the range tonight to try out my new goober vest for IDPA.  I tried to rationalize the vest as being just a tool for the matches, but still find it a little gooberish just looking at it in my range bag. 

What really hit home was when I was at the Bass Pro this weekend with the wife and little redneck, saw a dude rocking the vest in public.  Maybe when I am 65 and just don't give a shit anymore I will start wearing the vest in public.  Until then, don't wear concealment vests in public.  Not only do you look like you are carrying concealed, you look like a douche. 

Also another milestone in my blogging adventure, this is the first documented time I have used the word douche...not to be the last.

Also if anyone would like to give me money I will be happy to whore myself out and call people a brand name douche.  (ex: you look like a Summer's Eve Douche)  I feel that it would get me ready for a transition into Nascar.

Go the F to sleep

I never understood the hype behind the book "Go the F*** to Sleep".  I appreciated it for the vulgarity, which is pretty f'ing cool, and they fact that Sammy L. Jackson narrated it on You Tube.

Until now... having a child I have reached the point where I completely understand what the book is about. How the hell can a child that hasn't slept for 5-6 hours not take a nap, I'm not talking about a 5 year old, I'm talking about a 10 month old who naps every 3-4 hours on like its her job.  She has all the signs of needing a nap, but you lay her down and nothing. 

As I write this, I realize how old I am and that I have transformed from the guy who used to bitch about the beer not being cold enough, to the old man who bitches about the kid who is not napping and is going to ruin bedtime and she will be crabby for the rest of the afternoon (shit yea that was a hell of a run-on sentence, grammar be damned!!). 

I now join the legions of people understanding why this book is so damn good, cause sometimes you just want to scream " GO THE F*** TO SLEEP!!!"

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's day to all the Dads out there.  This is my first one and it has been awesome, the wife and little one cooked me a kick ass breakfast then we went to Bass Pro Shops. What more could a man ask for?

I have one suggestion...a Kimber 1911?

General Lee - Space Edition

Check this out!

(h/t to uncle)

Dude calls 911 for sammich

So this guy calls 911 on the sandwich shop.  Really?  My question is can you blame him? 

I'm not taking the high road here and saying the guy should have just left, not bought the sandwich or just eaten the damn thing.

You want to know why? 

Cause I have been to a McDonalds in the last 2 weeks and the service level at most relatively fast restaurants sucks hind tit.   I ordered a f'ing sausage egg and cheese mcmuffin and a hash brown, how do you screw that up?  I know! You let the moron that took 5 minutes to enter what should be a "normal" order.  But NO! 

The people behind the counter at McDs create a strong case for Darwinism and don't even get me started on how they f you in the drive through, way to set the service bar just slightly above shitty.

And every damn time I say that I will never return, but guess what?  ITS THE ONLY DAMN PLACE OPEN ON SUNDAY MORNING AT 7:00AM.  Shit on Chick-fil-a for not being open on sunday, I know its a religious thing but I need a biscuit and some GD customer service.


Chick-fil-a is the only fast food chain that hires people who might actually make it.


So good for you Rother McLennon, tell those little bastards behind the counter to give you "um little um, turkey, and little um ham and a lot of cheese and a lot of mayonnaise" or you are going to call the 5-0!

Straight up Bacon!

Has anyone tried the Burger King bacon sundae?  If so, please let me know if it is a good as it looks. Bacon makes everything better, apparently even ice cream.

100th post

In celebration of my 100th post, I'm gonna drink some beers tonight. 

I was going to post some kick ass video, but all I could find was some crazy Brits kicking each other in the shins.  It is actually a sanctioned sport in Britain, those are some crazy bastards.  I think that is the only other good thing to come out of the UK besides the Rolling Stones and Keith Richards' ability to cheat death.  Speaking of which they should come out with a study as to why Keith is still alive, I'm guessing its not the salads and V-8 juice every morning. 

You're welcome that I have decided to shoot for 100 more posts and as inspiration check this shit out!


This is for the Brits!

Fresh Herbs

Finally the basil and oregano that I planted 3 months ago are ripe for the picking.  Last night I made some baked spaghetti (but with fettuccine noodles) it was delicious.  I like to cook just good old comfort food every now and again, with the internet food blogs (which have some great ideas) I feel like everyone is trying to cook like they are a five star chef.
Home made naan bread is kick ass, but who the hell has time to make naan bread when their 10 month old has just shit up their back.  Not to mention that I have a damn job (side note: if anyone would like to pay me to blog, I will happily do it for 1 million dollars).

Get ready for the next post it is number 100! Going to have to make it a good one.

Gun Toys...extravagant edition

Crazy as hell $4k bullet proof polo shirt.  Pretty cool, won't help you with the entire getting shot in the face thing...but cool none the less.

Bacon everything

This site has everything bacon!  Including, but not limited to a Bacon Coffin

Meetings

Had a meeting for the J.O.B. today, all day!  Meetings are a complete waste of time and productivity, I just sat through 6 hours of BS then had to drive 4 hours back from it.  People need to get their heads out of their rear end and realize that you don't have to have a meeting for every damn thing. 

Beer money

Yo! I need some beers, only way to get them is to get some clicks on the ads for my beer money.  You don't have to buy anything, just click the links and hook it up so I can go buy a case of Stones (keystone light for those of you not in the know).

FYI...the current Stones case also doubles as a corn-hole board if you get bored.

Gun Toys

Hearing protection earmuffs!  Now you can say sh**, c***, balls (Old School)




You're my boy blue

IDPA Practice

Had a great practice last night, shot -5, -12 (lost focus), and -0 to finish on a high note.  This is a cool sport, I am ready for my next match, but unfortunately I have weddings for the next few weekends.  July I will be on the match circuit to start working up to my classification in October.

Gun Toys

Haven't done a gun toy post in a while, well check out this little bad boy from Ruger 22/45 lite.  I have a slight addiction to Ruger especially to their .22 pistols.  In my experience, they will feed just about any ammo you can find and are accurate as hell.
This is one smooth looking .22, the aluminum upper cuts down on weight, which was a downside to the Ruger Mark IIs , who needs a  35 oz .22?  The 22/45 lite has shaved the weight down to 22.80oz, that is getting close to a full pound less than the Mark II.  Looks like a great pistol for target or just plinking around the farm.
Only downside that I see to this pistol is the price tag (msrp $469), I am going to try and find a used one in about 6 months or so.

Farting on Dogs

Ha Ha!

IDPA Practice

I have my first practice session for IDPA tonight.  Getting stoked to shoot some, being as I haven't been able to since my last match.  I have been practicing my sight picture and reload at the house, but not quite the same as actually getting some range time in.  Will update with results.
Raining here, glad the practice is indoors!

Update on open house

we had a few people stop by the open house, but no bites.  The search continues

Open House :Part Deux

So we are having another open house today in hopes of selling our casa.  Hopefully we will get an offer, I am getting tired of cleaning the living hell out of my house every other week, on the upside my house is cleaner than it ever has been. 
We want to get the hell out of this house so that we can stretch our legs a little bit.  We have been living in a townhouse too long and I am in serious need of a garage.  The older I get the more I feel the need to take care of a lawn and wash cars in the driveway.

Fingers crossed that we can sell this place soon!

Tacos rule

'nuff said...tacos rule

Comments gone wild

Due to a programming glitch, my comments required you to give your personal information.  I received some intel that my followers were afraid to comment without leaving their name, phone number, serial number, whether you like mushroom, pepperoni, or broccoli, shut up with the broccoli.
Arnolds Pizza Shop - Watch More Funny Videos