Obama Phone!!

First, as I do from time to time, I have to apologize.  Not for my content, if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself, but for my lack of content.  I have been working like a dog for the past 2 weeks and have not had time to get this blogfest rolling properly.

On to the shenanigans!

Obama Phone!

This sums up the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, he gives people shit and they continue to vote for him.  What else can be said?  This is fucking ridiculous!  If you want to know my view of welfare, feel free to check out my post badmiton / welfare cheating...really? Butthurt warning


It's people with this mentality that are ruining our country...they have found out that they don't have to do a damn thing, except vote for more socialism (obama).  I would love to give these people a job, just so they know how much it sucks to have to pay taxes so other people can get a fucking free cell phone.  (aka: getting kicked in the dick)

Actually for the lazy ones, I am still offering my services - "Get kicked in the dick free of charge here!"

Update: AngryMike has stepped up to the plate to offer a free ass kicking to round out the package!

I don't know who said it, but there is a quote that I am going to butcher...it goes something like this:

"Why is is called greed to want to keep money you have earned, but not to take money you have not?"

USMC 50 Cal Bottle opener help!

I need some help, I am looking for a 50 cal bottle opener for my father in law.  I have the NRA version, once he saw this he flipped! 

Any help is appreciated, he is a USMC Vietnam veteran (helicopter gunner who shot a 50) and I would like to hook him up with a kick ass birthday present. 

Does anyone know where to find one of these??


Thanks for the help in advance!

Girl drink drunk

Had a great weekend, got drunk as hell due to a buddy getting married.  The hangover was not as bad as my birthday, but needed some fixing none the less.

Enter girl drinks!

I am not one for the fruity drinks, but as I was perusing the "eye openers" menu at the resort I saw the mali-bu bay breeze.  In my defense, I am not a huge fan of Bloody Marys but will drink them from time to time.  The mixture of malibu rum, pineapple, and cranberry juice offered a light and booze filled breakfast drink.

I am hooked, as far as breakfast booze goes, this is the best way to get a little "hair of the dog"!  In tribute to this new revelation, please enjoy this video. 

For those of you who read this and thought, "dude is gay". Go fuck yourself, I'm a girl drink drunk!

Romney Gaffe!!

By now, I am sure you have heard about Romney's quote about how 47% of Americans will vote for Obama because they are on the gubmnet dole.

"

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.

All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.

That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.
…These are people who pay no income tax."

Holy Shit!! Stop the fucking presses!  If this surprises you, then I have some great oceanfront real estate in Kentucky I could sell you (it comes with a free kick in the junk).

The liberals are running with this like they just stole it and the second hand liberals are lead blocking!!! 

This is Obama's plan, get as many people as possible on the gubment dime so they can't fend for themselves and continue to vote me into power.  The other guy is going to steal all your free money... that money is rightfully yours! 

Other people worked, produced something, and sacrificed their time and taxes to make this country great enough that we can afford to have the "right" to free money for free loaders.

I am glad that he said this, its true!  I am also a bit butthurt about the fact that it took this long for this to come out.  Its not like this is news. 

If you feel that he is wrong for saying this, I am starting a line to the right for a free kick in the junk (that's what it feels like to pay taxes).

Yes I am wearing my state approved dick kicking shoes...Safety first!

Monkey pants! and shirts and gear and toys

Just discovered a badass site called http://milspecmonkey.com/. 

If you have not had the time to check it out, stop what you are doing and go check out some great reviews and toys that you probably will not be able to afford.

I want to buy everything that I have seen thus far. 

We need to make rubble bounce... Foreign Policy 101

That is a quote from the Nuge! 

Well said to say the least about what has happened in the middle east recently.  This is not one of those situations that we need to apologize for being American.  I mean seriously, you think this is about a movie?

We need to give everyone within a 10 mile radius of our emabassay in libya a memo saying,

"if you are reading this, we are going to flatten your domicile and the surrounding 300 ft.  if you don't evacuate in 10 min, you too will be flattened....your welcome for all the foreign aid, which is now revoked. 
Sincerely,

The Fucking USA!"


In all other countries, we need to post a sign on the wall of the embassy.  Is should read something similar to this -
" Please do not come close to the wall surrounding this emabassy!  If you should touch the wall surrounding this embassy, we will shoot you in the face. If you do not agree to those terms I suggest you go the fuck home and not touch the wall.  If you touch the wall, you will be dead.

Sincerely,

The Fucking USA!!!"

This is my foreign policy if I should ever run for office.  Redneck 2020!! Fucking 'Merica!

I'm not sure if you are receiving what I am trying to get across here.  The fact of the matter is that we are the FUCKING USA!  The best damn country in the world.  We make the rules! We do not apologize to our enemies for offending their sensibilities.  They apologize to US for existing and being a pebble in our shoe. 

The next message they should receive from the best country in the world...

"You picked on the wrong fucking country.  Suck it, enjoy the rubble that used to be your town.

Love Always,

The Fucking USA!!!!"

New Follower, Mohave Rat!

Yo! Got a new follower with some good content

Go check out his blogfest at http://mohaveratstwocentsworth.blogspot.com/. 

Never forget

How could you forget? I grew up hearing about where my parents were when elvis died, or the moon walk.

Are parents explaining to their children the significance of 9-11 and what actually happened?

If not, why?

Its like 1984...but in HD! Big Brother eat your heart out!

This story snapped me out of my week long hangover!

Who said that everything is better in HD?  Everyone, that's who!

Why should the FBI be relegated to trying to track your movements through a grainy, ever growing network of cameras?  Really, they are people too!  They can't be left in the friggin dark ages!
How do we solve that issue?  Give them $1 Billion to implement their facial recognition project.

Whew!  I was scared for a moment!  I actually thought that our privacy was at stake, or that we wouldn't be able to walk through town without our pictures being logged in a never ending database.  Never fear!  Our gubment wouldn't let something that absurd ever happen.  They would do whatever they could to protect our rights as citizens of the best nation in the world right?

This is exactly what has happened, the gubment has found a way!  Through their new Facial recognition they will be able to keep us safe!  Their goal "is to reduce terrorist and criminal activities by improving and expanding biometric identification and criminal history information services through research, evaluation, and implementation of advanced technology."  Sounds harmless enough.  I think that they should just break down and start a buddy system where every US citizen is partnered with a federal agent taking out the possibility of them not knowing the consistency of your most recent bowel movement.

Have one of these cameras that you see in an intersection actually stopped anything from happening?  I have seen a few alternate views on America's funniest home videos brought to you by one of these cameras, but that's about it. 

So next time you are driving through an intersection and see a weird black box next to the stoplight, or wonder why the hell there would be the need for a camera on a telephone pole in the middle of a street; just smile, wave and say hello to the $1 billion that is making the world safe!

The sad part is that once this makes the news they have probably been doing it for about 6 years!

Weeklong Hangover!

Sorry for my lack of content for this week.  As I mentioned earlier this week, it was my birthday week. Thus, I have been in a haze for much of the week.  Throw in labor day and all I did was drink like a union worker on an assembly line. 

My liver tried to escape, it even punched me in the pancreas! 

In my 20's hangovers didn't have shit on me!  I could booze till the cows came home and pop up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 6:00am.  No problem.  I hit my 30's and...well suffice to say it sucked.  Didn't puke, but wish I had!

There were multiple causes for this hangover:

1. not eating during the day- This was my fault, like a moron I had a salad for lunch.  Not quite the base you want for a night of boozing.

2. Craft Beer - Holy hell this shit is like moonshine and it was going down like water! 

So what have I learned now that I am a wise 30 yr old? 

Nothing....I still feel like a stupid 20-something and will probably bring in 31 the same damn way!!!!

B-Day Gift-Fest!

Got some badass b-day gifts! 

50 cal bottle opener!  Who would have thought that you could combine 2 of my favorite past times?  Rednecks, thats who!  They have been getting drunk and shooting since the beginning of time!  But for the not so red, you can get a 50 cal cartridge that is a bottle opener.  Very nice!

Shooting glasses!  Scored me a nice pair of Remington amber lense shooting glasses.  A welcome upgrade from the scratched beyond all get out pair of walmart specials that I am currently using.  

Camo hat....Why because camo goes with everything, it even has the Panther's logo on the front surrounded by blaze orange! 

Decorations were also well done by the wife, 9mm rounds with little bows tied on to them.  She sure knows the way to my heart. 

All around a great way to bring in the dirty 30! 

Now get the fuck off my lawn!

Damn kids!

Labor Day...I ain't doing shit!

"you know I'm not a pro-union guy Cap!"

This is one of the best holidays ever and the fact that it is the day before the DNC is very appropriate.  So in honor of all the people living off my tax dollars, I shall join them in the act of not doing a damn thing. 

I would try to go snag some form of handout, but that happens downtown and I'm not venturing anywhere close to the city with all the DNC non-sense going on up there.


Farva!!!