Had a great weekend, got drunk as hell due to a buddy getting married. The hangover was not as bad as my birthday, but needed some fixing none the less.
Enter girl drinks!
I am not one for the fruity drinks, but as I was perusing the "eye openers" menu at the resort I saw the mali-bu bay breeze. In my defense, I am not a huge fan of Bloody Marys but will drink them from time to time. The mixture of malibu rum, pineapple, and cranberry juice offered a light and booze filled breakfast drink.
I am hooked, as far as breakfast booze goes, this is the best way to get a little "hair of the dog"! In tribute to this new revelation, please enjoy this video.
For those of you who read this and thought, "dude is gay". Go fuck yourself, I'm a girl drink drunk!
Showing posts with label ass clowns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ass clowns. Show all posts
Monday, September 24, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Romney Gaffe!!
By now, I am sure you have heard about Romney's quote about how 47% of Americans will vote for Obama because they are on the gubmnet dole.
"
Holy Shit!! Stop the fucking presses! If this surprises you, then I have some great oceanfront real estate in Kentucky I could sell you (it comes with a free kick in the junk).
The liberals are running with this like they just stole it and the second hand liberals are lead blocking!!!
This is Obama's plan, get as many people as possible on the gubment dime so they can't fend for themselves and continue to vote me into power. The other guy is going to steal all your free money... that money is rightfully yours!
Other people worked, produced something, and sacrificed their time and taxes to make this country great enough that we can afford to have the "right" to free money for free loaders.
I am glad that he said this, its true! I am also a bit butthurt about the fact that it took this long for this to come out. Its not like this is news.
If you feel that he is wrong for saying this, I am starting a line to the right for a free kick in the junk (that's what it feels like to pay taxes).
Yes I am wearing my state approved dick kicking shoes...Safety first!
"
There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.
All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.
That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.
…These are people who pay no income tax."
Holy Shit!! Stop the fucking presses! If this surprises you, then I have some great oceanfront real estate in Kentucky I could sell you (it comes with a free kick in the junk).
The liberals are running with this like they just stole it and the second hand liberals are lead blocking!!!
This is Obama's plan, get as many people as possible on the gubment dime so they can't fend for themselves and continue to vote me into power. The other guy is going to steal all your free money... that money is rightfully yours!
Other people worked, produced something, and sacrificed their time and taxes to make this country great enough that we can afford to have the "right" to free money for free loaders.
I am glad that he said this, its true! I am also a bit butthurt about the fact that it took this long for this to come out. Its not like this is news.
If you feel that he is wrong for saying this, I am starting a line to the right for a free kick in the junk (that's what it feels like to pay taxes).
Yes I am wearing my state approved dick kicking shoes...Safety first!
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Chick-fil-A! Butthurt edition
A day late...I have intentionally held off on this topic till all of the nonsense of the week had run its course.
Here is what I am thinking on the Chick-fil-A nonsense. First I am going to lay down what has happened...
Mr. Cathy, the Pres / big swinging D of Chick-fil-A came out saying he doesn't think that (to quote Caleb) "fanny-bangers" deserve to get married.
1. Does this surprise you? This Corp. is extremely Christian and value oriented. So why is that weird? He's hard core christian and he doesn't approve of gay marriage. Holy Shit! I am amazed!
2. It is a private company! Why the hell should he care if you approve of his views or not? They are exactly that...his views, he is not killing anyone. Give him a break.
3. It is a damn good sammich! Whoever picks the restaurant they eat at by the politics of management has too much free time...or is just looking to get butthurt over something.
4. Free Speech! This should have been number 1, but my organizational skills are lacking. If he hates gays...then guess what? Who the hell cares. If he is gay...then guess what? Who the hell cares. Refer to point #3
5. Tolerance. This is my favorite one! I salivate about this point. You know why? Because the people that have coexist and tolerate stickers on the back of their priuses are the ones calling for this guy's head. Gays are the new black, its OK for them to hate your for your beliefs, but freedom be damned if you don't agree with their lifestyle. Whatever you do behind closed doors, is your own god damned business. I don't flaunt the fact that I enjoy the company of a woman, don't flaunt whatever you like. You want tolerance? Then learn to tolerate the people that don't agree with your point of view, the rest of us have been forced to do just that, bite our tongues out of fear of being labeled a racist or homophobe.
I consider myself a libertarian/ conservative...and by doing so, I am forced to listen to a shit ton of douche-bags because I believe they have the right to speak their mind.
So the next time you run into someone who is preaching "tolerance" tell them to look into exactly what that means and then tell them to go fuck themselves.
- that "kiss in" looks like it went over like a wet fart
- despite what you see in the news, more people disapprove of same sex marriage than agree with it...look at the law recently passed in NC, also CA approved a ban on gay marriage.
Glad that this douche got fired...this poor girl at least has a job and is trying to better herself.
Hey douche...go fuck yourself
Here is what I am thinking on the Chick-fil-A nonsense. First I am going to lay down what has happened...
Mr. Cathy, the Pres / big swinging D of Chick-fil-A came out saying he doesn't think that (to quote Caleb) "fanny-bangers" deserve to get married.
1. Does this surprise you? This Corp. is extremely Christian and value oriented. So why is that weird? He's hard core christian and he doesn't approve of gay marriage. Holy Shit! I am amazed!
2. It is a private company! Why the hell should he care if you approve of his views or not? They are exactly that...his views, he is not killing anyone. Give him a break.
3. It is a damn good sammich! Whoever picks the restaurant they eat at by the politics of management has too much free time...or is just looking to get butthurt over something.
4. Free Speech! This should have been number 1, but my organizational skills are lacking. If he hates gays...then guess what? Who the hell cares. If he is gay...then guess what? Who the hell cares. Refer to point #3
5. Tolerance. This is my favorite one! I salivate about this point. You know why? Because the people that have coexist and tolerate stickers on the back of their priuses are the ones calling for this guy's head. Gays are the new black, its OK for them to hate your for your beliefs, but freedom be damned if you don't agree with their lifestyle. Whatever you do behind closed doors, is your own god damned business. I don't flaunt the fact that I enjoy the company of a woman, don't flaunt whatever you like. You want tolerance? Then learn to tolerate the people that don't agree with your point of view, the rest of us have been forced to do just that, bite our tongues out of fear of being labeled a racist or homophobe.
I consider myself a libertarian/ conservative...and by doing so, I am forced to listen to a shit ton of douche-bags because I believe they have the right to speak their mind.
So the next time you run into someone who is preaching "tolerance" tell them to look into exactly what that means and then tell them to go fuck themselves.
- that "kiss in" looks like it went over like a wet fart
- despite what you see in the news, more people disapprove of same sex marriage than agree with it...look at the law recently passed in NC, also CA approved a ban on gay marriage.
Glad that this douche got fired...this poor girl at least has a job and is trying to better herself.
Hey douche...go fuck yourself
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Badmiton/Welfare, cheating really? Butthurt warning!
Cheating in an Olympic sport that isn't really a sport shouldn't
count. Also cheating in a format that rewards poor performance should be
expected. Hmmm... That sounds very familiar! Sounds a little bit
like some welfare. (brace yourself...someone is probably going to be butthurt about this one)
First, I must apologize to my redneck followers out there. I have been out for a week and it has sucked. I need to get to blogging on the phone, but the iphone and long sentences are not friends (kind of a weak excuse since my sentences and grammar suck). I will try to be better. Work is going nutz, and none of you have hooked me up with a publisher or a sponsor so no constant supply of Booda. I am working on a ballz out power point presentation for my meeting tomorrow. Back to the nonsense!
Maybe you haven't heard it, but I have! They have updated the work requirements to be eligible for welfare, at first glance that sounds awesome. Let’s get those free-loaders to actually do some damn work! Not so lucky, according to the new regs quitting smoking, massage therapy, and helping people move qualify as working, therefore free money from uncie sam!
You may be amazed, but I am actually cool with that paragraph. You know what I am not cool with, is me working my ass off to the point where I can't even keep you guys updated for an entire week! Ohhh, that and the fact that 20-30% of my paycheck is stolen from me every year to pay one of these ass clowns to quit smoking.
The next bit is going to sound insensitive. It is…some people need assistance, but a majority of people on it are just lazy pieces. I would prefer we allow all military to retire after their service (4 yr min) and not work a day for the rest of their life. They have done enough for this country. Also, under my plan, if you serve, then the below paragraphs would not apply to you as you would not be on welfare.
Also, welfare should be exactly what it sounds like....SHIT. Welfare should be a shade above prison (old school prison…no TVs, weights and mandatory communal showers). It should be a last stop before homelessness. It should allow you the bare necessities to SURVIVE!
No cars- if you can afford a car then you don’t need welfare, if you have rims…
No smoking (anything) - Smoking is a luxury, one I enjoyed for a few years and still miss…however, when I was broke as shit, I either rolled my own or stopped.
No Drugs – Again…a luxury, if you can afford drugs, you shouldn’t need assistance, if you are using your assistance to purchase drugs, then you shouldn’t be getting free money
No TV – Don’t need a TV to live! Hell me and the Mrs. Redneck cut the cable tie all together when times got tough, it was a rough week getting used to it… Now I am actually enjoying the monsoon that renders my dish useless
Around now in the post you are probably thinking, “this redneck is one insensitive SOB”. You may be right.
I would like to hold the people of the US to the same standards that I hold myself, I don’t expect everyone to work their asses off, nor do I expect everyone to excel. Find a way to furnish the bare necessities and learn how to survive.
If any one is looking, for 100k/ yr I can give a hell of a shiatsu massage
First, I must apologize to my redneck followers out there. I have been out for a week and it has sucked. I need to get to blogging on the phone, but the iphone and long sentences are not friends (kind of a weak excuse since my sentences and grammar suck). I will try to be better. Work is going nutz, and none of you have hooked me up with a publisher or a sponsor so no constant supply of Booda. I am working on a ballz out power point presentation for my meeting tomorrow. Back to the nonsense!
Maybe you haven't heard it, but I have! They have updated the work requirements to be eligible for welfare, at first glance that sounds awesome. Let’s get those free-loaders to actually do some damn work! Not so lucky, according to the new regs quitting smoking, massage therapy, and helping people move qualify as working, therefore free money from uncie sam!
You may be amazed, but I am actually cool with that paragraph. You know what I am not cool with, is me working my ass off to the point where I can't even keep you guys updated for an entire week! Ohhh, that and the fact that 20-30% of my paycheck is stolen from me every year to pay one of these ass clowns to quit smoking.
The next bit is going to sound insensitive. It is…some people need assistance, but a majority of people on it are just lazy pieces. I would prefer we allow all military to retire after their service (4 yr min) and not work a day for the rest of their life. They have done enough for this country. Also, under my plan, if you serve, then the below paragraphs would not apply to you as you would not be on welfare.
Also, welfare should be exactly what it sounds like....SHIT. Welfare should be a shade above prison (old school prison…no TVs, weights and mandatory communal showers). It should be a last stop before homelessness. It should allow you the bare necessities to SURVIVE!
No cars- if you can afford a car then you don’t need welfare, if you have rims…
-
There are bus routes near public housing for a
reason! No its not convenient…neither is
working 40+ hours a week
-
if you cant take the bus…get a bike worked until the
early 1900’s and most of China
is still a big fan
No cell phones – really…you need a cell phone. Home phones work pretty good, and I’m betting
they are free in public housing. No smoking (anything) - Smoking is a luxury, one I enjoyed for a few years and still miss…however, when I was broke as shit, I either rolled my own or stopped.
No Drugs – Again…a luxury, if you can afford drugs, you shouldn’t need assistance, if you are using your assistance to purchase drugs, then you shouldn’t be getting free money
No TV – Don’t need a TV to live! Hell me and the Mrs. Redneck cut the cable tie all together when times got tough, it was a rough week getting used to it… Now I am actually enjoying the monsoon that renders my dish useless
Around now in the post you are probably thinking, “this redneck is one insensitive SOB”. You may be right.
I would like to hold the people of the US to the same standards that I hold myself, I don’t expect everyone to work their asses off, nor do I expect everyone to excel. Find a way to furnish the bare necessities and learn how to survive.
If any one is looking, for 100k/ yr I can give a hell of a shiatsu massage
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