Hooray!!!

So last post I was bitching and moaning about not going shooting in quite a while.  Well guess what?  I still haven't put one round down range.  Shitty!

But on the upside, today is closing day on my house!  The house I have tried to sell for 2 years, it was a great house, but that fucker just wouldn't let go of me.  I finally pried its hands off my wallet and sold it while feeling a bit butthurt about having to pay to sell my house. 

Onward, we have been looking for some great houses just outside of Charlotte and of course need to find one that come equipped with a panic room, walk in cooler, root cellar, gun safe room, secret passages, and a house gnome.  Its harder to find than one may think. 

I'm just going to settle for a garage big enough to house a beer fridge, my toys, and a workbench and defer all other decisions to Mrs. Redneck.  C'mon house!

Ohh yea, going to be doing a lot of 12oz curls in celebration of the closing.  Feel free to drink along with me, I might even try to live blog the beers I will be drinking (hint: they are all domestic and lite)

Butthurt! Media Bias Edition

Man, I'm sure Obama is really butthurt about the state dept. coming out saying that the Libya attacks were never about that piece of shit movie.  It amazes me to watch how the media treats the US people like a bunch of morons.  (insert if it was a republican rant here)

Its not just the if it was a repbulican, I don't care who the hell was trying to mislead the US people!  The media should be on this story like white on rice!  Why is the everyone so damn eager to make this administration look like they haven't shit the bed?  You're the media, your supposed to report the news not cover up for the guy you want in November. 

They fucked up!  That should be the headline.  That or "They Lied".

Who is getting hyped up for the VP debate, I'm curious to see how Biden looks after having been kept out of the public eye to protect him from himself. 

Just to get you ready for the debate, here is a preview of Our VP Joe Biden

Obama Phone!!

First, as I do from time to time, I have to apologize.  Not for my content, if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself, but for my lack of content.  I have been working like a dog for the past 2 weeks and have not had time to get this blogfest rolling properly.

On to the shenanigans!

Obama Phone!

This sums up the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, he gives people shit and they continue to vote for him.  What else can be said?  This is fucking ridiculous!  If you want to know my view of welfare, feel free to check out my post badmiton / welfare cheating...really? Butthurt warning


It's people with this mentality that are ruining our country...they have found out that they don't have to do a damn thing, except vote for more socialism (obama).  I would love to give these people a job, just so they know how much it sucks to have to pay taxes so other people can get a fucking free cell phone.  (aka: getting kicked in the dick)

Actually for the lazy ones, I am still offering my services - "Get kicked in the dick free of charge here!"

Update: AngryMike has stepped up to the plate to offer a free ass kicking to round out the package!

I don't know who said it, but there is a quote that I am going to butcher...it goes something like this:

"Why is is called greed to want to keep money you have earned, but not to take money you have not?"

Romney Gaffe!!

By now, I am sure you have heard about Romney's quote about how 47% of Americans will vote for Obama because they are on the gubmnet dole.

"

There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what.

All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it.

That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what.
…These are people who pay no income tax."

Holy Shit!! Stop the fucking presses!  If this surprises you, then I have some great oceanfront real estate in Kentucky I could sell you (it comes with a free kick in the junk).

The liberals are running with this like they just stole it and the second hand liberals are lead blocking!!! 

This is Obama's plan, get as many people as possible on the gubment dime so they can't fend for themselves and continue to vote me into power.  The other guy is going to steal all your free money... that money is rightfully yours! 

Other people worked, produced something, and sacrificed their time and taxes to make this country great enough that we can afford to have the "right" to free money for free loaders.

I am glad that he said this, its true!  I am also a bit butthurt about the fact that it took this long for this to come out.  Its not like this is news. 

If you feel that he is wrong for saying this, I am starting a line to the right for a free kick in the junk (that's what it feels like to pay taxes).

Yes I am wearing my state approved dick kicking shoes...Safety first!

Chick-fil-A! Butthurt edition

A day late...I have intentionally held off on this topic till all of the nonsense of the week had run its course.
Here is what I am thinking on the Chick-fil-A nonsense.  First I am going to lay down what has happened...

Mr. Cathy, the Pres / big swinging D of Chick-fil-A came out saying he doesn't think that (to quote Caleb) "fanny-bangers" deserve to get married. 

1. Does this surprise you?  This Corp. is extremely Christian and value oriented. So why is that weird?  He's hard core christian and he doesn't approve of gay marriage.  Holy Shit!  I am amazed!

2.  It is a private company!  Why the hell should he care if you approve of his views or not?  They are exactly that...his views, he is not killing anyone.  Give him a break. 

3.  It is a damn good sammich!  Whoever picks the restaurant they eat at by the politics of management has too much free time...or is just looking to get butthurt over something.

4.  Free Speech!  This should have been number 1, but my organizational skills are lacking.  If he hates gays...then guess what? Who the hell cares.  If he is gay...then guess what?  Who the hell cares.  Refer to point #3

5.  Tolerance.  This is my favorite one!  I salivate about this point.  You know why?  Because the people that have coexist and tolerate stickers on the back of their priuses are the ones calling for this guy's head.  Gays are the new black, its OK for them to hate your for your beliefs, but freedom be damned if you don't agree with their lifestyle.  Whatever you do behind closed doors, is your own god damned business.  I don't flaunt the fact that I enjoy the company of a woman, don't flaunt whatever you like.  You want tolerance?  Then learn to tolerate the people that don't agree with your point of view, the rest of us have been forced to do just that, bite our tongues out of fear of being labeled a racist or homophobe.
I consider myself a libertarian/ conservative...and by doing so, I am forced to listen to a shit ton of douche-bags because I believe they have the right to speak their mind.

So the next time you run into someone who is preaching "tolerance" tell them to look into exactly what that means and then tell them to go fuck themselves.

- that "kiss in" looks like it went over like a wet fart
- despite what you see in the news, more people disapprove of same sex marriage than agree with it...look at the law recently passed in NC, also CA approved a ban on gay marriage.



Glad that this douche got fired...this poor girl at least has a job and is trying to better herself.
Hey douche...go fuck yourself

Badmiton/Welfare, cheating really? Butthurt warning!

Cheating in an Olympic sport that isn't really a sport shouldn't count.  Also cheating in a format that rewards poor performance should be expected.  Hmmm... That sounds very familiar!  Sounds a little bit like some welfare.  (brace yourself...someone is probably going to be butthurt about this one)

First, I must apologize to my redneck followers out there.  I have been out for a week and it has sucked.  I need to get to blogging on the phone, but the iphone and long sentences are not friends (kind of a weak excuse since my sentences and grammar suck).   I will try to be better.  Work is going nutz, and none of you have hooked me up with a publisher or a sponsor so no constant supply of Booda.  I am working on a ballz out power point presentation for my meeting tomorrow.  Back to the nonsense!

Maybe you haven't heard it, but I have!  They have updated the work requirements to be eligible for welfare, at first glance that sounds awesome.  Let’s get those free-loaders to actually do some damn work!  Not so lucky, according to the new regs quitting smoking, massage therapy, and helping people move qualify as working, therefore free money from uncie sam! 

You may be amazed, but I am actually cool with that paragraph.  You know what I am not cool with, is me working my ass off to the point where I can't even keep you guys updated for an entire week!  Ohhh, that and the fact that 20-30% of my paycheck is stolen from me every year to pay one of these ass clowns to quit smoking.

The next bit is going to sound insensitive.  It is…some people need assistance, but a majority of people on it are just lazy pieces. I would prefer we allow all military to retire after their service (4 yr min) and not work a day for the rest of their life.  They have done enough for this country.  Also, under my plan, if you serve, then the below paragraphs would not apply to you as you would not be on welfare.

Also, welfare should be exactly what it sounds like....SHIT.  Welfare should be a shade above prison (old school prison…no TVs, weights and mandatory communal showers).  It should be a last stop before homelessness.  It should allow you the bare necessities to SURVIVE!

No cars- if you can afford a car then you don’t need welfare, if you have rims…

-         There are bus routes near public housing for a reason!  No its not convenient…neither is working 40+ hours a week

-         if you cant take the bus…get a bike worked until the early 1900’s and most of China is still a big fan

No cell phones – really…you need a cell phone.  Home phones work pretty good, and I’m betting they are free in public housing.

No smoking (anything) - Smoking is a luxury, one I enjoyed for a few years and still miss…however, when I was broke as shit, I either rolled my own or stopped.

No Drugs – Again…a luxury, if you can afford drugs, you shouldn’t need assistance, if you are using your assistance to purchase drugs, then you shouldn’t be getting free money

No TV – Don’t need a TV to live!  Hell me and the Mrs. Redneck cut the cable tie all together when times got tough, it was a rough week getting used to it… Now I am actually enjoying the monsoon that renders my dish useless

Around now in the post you are probably thinking, “this redneck is one insensitive SOB”.  You may be right. 
I would like to hold the people of the US to the same standards that I hold myself, I don’t expect everyone to work their asses off, nor do I expect everyone to excel.  Find a way to furnish the bare necessities and learn how to survive.

If any one is looking, for 100k/ yr I can give a hell of a shiatsu massage

Holy Shit! 500 views

I have just realized that my 500 views is a drop in the bucket for most people.  Well guess what?  Its a lot for me so suck it!  Being that it took me only 1/2 a month to get to this milestone, my next update will be around 700 or so, but I don't really know when the mood will strike me.

On the eve of my 500 views I present a fantastic feat of comedic genius...if you haven't seen the full stand up, it is F'ing hilarious.

Enjoy ladies and gents!

Butthurt

No, I am not really butthurt about anything currently, I really wanted to use that as a title to a post.  I'll tell you who is butthurt, my child.  She is currently cutting about 3 teeth at the same time and is very butthurt to say the least.

Its amazing that you can take a relatively normal child and introduce teething and she turns into an angry drooling midget.  The nice part is that you can give her some cottage cheese and all is good in her world.

On second thought, I am butthurt.  After her morning nap, the little redneck decided to drop a deuce the size of a VW bug.  As I was changing her, she decided to put her hand in said VW bug, which then got on my hand.  Great way to start the day!! 

Ace- Thanks for the comments

If you don't know what butthurt means, you need to start watching Workaholics