Olympics are in full swing! Now we can begin to see how much the rest of the world sucks compared to the US, Germany, China, England, and Africa (too many nations to mention and they all kick ass at running).
Now on to the opening ceremony...what a piece of shit! That was the most boring opening ceremony I have ever watched. Cool idea gone wrong! I could have done without the first 2 hours all together. I don't care if he directed slumdog millionaire, the opening was a slumdog piece of shit. The Brits could fuck up a wet dream.
Could we shorten the list of countries that are announced at the opening ceremony, hell even the Queen was bored as hell and I'm pretty sure she is at the point of senility. I think that in order to get announced the country should have at least won one medal in the past 50 years. It doesn't even have to be a medal in an event that matters, I would accept the interpretive dance with the ribbon as acceptable.
On to the f'ing berets worn by our team! Who the hell thought that was a good idea? We look like a bunch of pansies, yes...I am saying that wearing a beret makes you look like a douche. The only people who can wear a beret and not look like a douche are in some form of service (green berets, special forces etc.). We need to find the douche bag who made the decision to take fashion advice from the french and revoke his citizenship. Who in their right mind would decide to outfit the worlds best athletes in a damn beret!
Yes, I was implying that the french are a bunch of douche bags!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Bar Stool Economics
Haven't seen this one in a while, so I borrowed it from SHTF Plan
I am a big fan of a flat tax. That is the only way "everyone pays their fair share".
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for a beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.00
The sixth would pay $3.00
The seventh would pay $7.00
The eighth would pay $12.00
The ninth would pay $18.00
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.00
So that’s what they decided to do. The men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with arraignment, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
“Since you are all such good customers, he said, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.00.
“Drinks for the ten men now cost just $80.00
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $ 20 windfall so that everyone would get there “fair share?” They realized that $ 20.00 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!
And so:
The fifth man like the first four, now paid nothing ( 100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of 12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid 14 instead of 18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before! And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20“ declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right, shouted the seventh man. “why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in union. “ We didn’t I get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalist and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
Hat tip Brother Slavo via David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. The original author of this simple guide is unknown.
I am a big fan of a flat tax. That is the only way "everyone pays their fair share".
Suppose that every day, ten men go out for a beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.
If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.00
The sixth would pay $3.00
The seventh would pay $7.00
The eighth would pay $12.00
The ninth would pay $18.00
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.00
So that’s what they decided to do. The men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with arraignment, until one day, the owner threw them a curve.
“Since you are all such good customers, he said, I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.00.
“Drinks for the ten men now cost just $80.00
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men – the paying customers? How could they divide the $ 20 windfall so that everyone would get there “fair share?” They realized that $ 20.00 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay!
And so:
The fifth man like the first four, now paid nothing ( 100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28% savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of 12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid 14 instead of 18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before! And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
“I only got a dollar out of the $20“ declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”
“Yeah, that’s right, shouted the seventh man. “why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!”
“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in union. “ We didn’t I get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!”
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalist and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.
For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.
Hat tip Brother Slavo via David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D. The original author of this simple guide is unknown.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
IDPA addiction! noggin muffs edition!
I've got a fever! and the only prescription is more IDPA! I am jonesin' to get my ass out and go shooting!
It has been a few months since my last outing! Need to dust off the goober vest and get some rounds down range. Am I the only one that feels the need to get out and shoot ? Hell No! Do I need to stay home and spend some time with the little redneck and redneck wife? Hell Yes!
Unfortunately I can't bring the little redneck to the IDPA matches otherwise she would be there no problem.
Solution - someone please make hearing protection for a 1 yr old that they will actually keep on their noggins! That could be my million dollar idea, except for the fact that I am blabbing about it on here.
Therefore I am now trademarking the noggin-muff 1000 (for 1 yr olds), noggin muff 2000 (for 2 yr olds) etc. Don't try stealing my idea without at least throwing me a case of bud lights!
Sorry for being off topic- no I will not be going shooting this weekend - yes I am inventing noggin muffs - no you can't steal my idea.
It has been a few months since my last outing! Need to dust off the goober vest and get some rounds down range. Am I the only one that feels the need to get out and shoot ? Hell No! Do I need to stay home and spend some time with the little redneck and redneck wife? Hell Yes!
Unfortunately I can't bring the little redneck to the IDPA matches otherwise she would be there no problem.
Solution - someone please make hearing protection for a 1 yr old that they will actually keep on their noggins! That could be my million dollar idea, except for the fact that I am blabbing about it on here.
Therefore I am now trademarking the noggin-muff 1000 (for 1 yr olds), noggin muff 2000 (for 2 yr olds) etc. Don't try stealing my idea without at least throwing me a case of bud lights!
Sorry for being off topic- no I will not be going shooting this weekend - yes I am inventing noggin muffs - no you can't steal my idea.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Miller Lite and Pool Time
You know, the only thing better than a miller lite is a miller lite with a pool surrounding my happy ass! Hit the pool for a few hours after getting done with the J.O.B.(still waiting for a pay check for blogging or shooting..hint hint) It was glorious, not enough beer was consumed, but enough to make it wonderful.
There should be a day during the week that is just for chilling, I call it Wednesday! Tomorrow I am in some meetings, those should be exciting. But after that I am hitting the pool, you know why? Cause its the effing pool! That's why.
There should be a day during the week that is just for chilling, I call it Wednesday! Tomorrow I am in some meetings, those should be exciting. But after that I am hitting the pool, you know why? Cause its the effing pool! That's why.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Kicked in the Dick!!
Yo! Check out Uncle's post, you can find it on the right side of the page. Well said sir! I think we all need to get some dick kicking shoes!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Denver Shooting
I was going to write a piece on the shooting in Colorado. I might still. But in the mean time please head over to A response to the attack in denver .
Natalie has provided us with a well written, thought out, and relavant piece that not only applies to the shooting in Denver but all horrific situations.
Banning something does not keep bad things from happening.
Natalie has provided us with a well written, thought out, and relavant piece that not only applies to the shooting in Denver but all horrific situations.
Banning something does not keep bad things from happening.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Red, White and Crue!
So I broke down and became a van owner today! Holy hell that thing is huge! I can play raquet ball in the back of it. One of the best things about buying a car is the haggling, good times. The second best thing about buying a car is waiting for 2 hours to get in the back to sign the actual paperwork that matters.
I would gladly pay an extra 400 bucks to get that shit done or take a colonoscopy if there is going to be the time.
As I pulled up to the redneck residence, blaring "Girls" by motley crue, I felt that somehow I am that badass dad driving a mini-van; not the dad that is wearing a sweater that was put on his shoulders at prepcon.
I would gladly pay an extra 400 bucks to get that shit done or take a colonoscopy if there is going to be the time.
As I pulled up to the redneck residence, blaring "Girls" by motley crue, I felt that somehow I am that badass dad driving a mini-van; not the dad that is wearing a sweater that was put on his shoulders at prepcon.
Charlotte Prepcon!
How the hell did I miss the first one? Wedding! It was a sacrifice that I was willing to make, open bar and some good food will tear me away from a lot of things.
Back to the prepcon, this looks to be a good time that I will be attending and signing autographs for all my followers, just look for the bearded redneck with a camo hat on...I should be the only one.
I am a big proponent of being prepared (no I don't think zombies are going to take over the world). Why not, you prepare for everything else in your life (work, kids, purchasing a mini-van). It is good to be ready for the non-foreseeable events that might take place. Living in the South, we are exposed to hurricanes which is a great reason to keep some food and water on hand in case the power / water goes out and you can't get to the store.
There are a million reasons to get prepared, hurricanes, tornados, zombies, the mayan calender ending etc. But the main point is to get prepared, you don't need a BOB but a dedicated bag that has a flashlight, a couple bottles of water, granola bars, and a first aid kit should be the absolute minimum. This goes double if you have kids.
Hell even the gubment recommends that you be prepared with a 72 hr kit of some sort.
Worst case scenario, you can live in the woods for a few days if you Mother-in-law comes to visit. For Mother-in-law I recommend stashing a few bud-lights in the woods as sustenance.
Back to the prepcon, this looks to be a good time that I will be attending and signing autographs for all my followers, just look for the bearded redneck with a camo hat on...I should be the only one.
I am a big proponent of being prepared (no I don't think zombies are going to take over the world). Why not, you prepare for everything else in your life (work, kids, purchasing a mini-van). It is good to be ready for the non-foreseeable events that might take place. Living in the South, we are exposed to hurricanes which is a great reason to keep some food and water on hand in case the power / water goes out and you can't get to the store.
There are a million reasons to get prepared, hurricanes, tornados, zombies, the mayan calender ending etc. But the main point is to get prepared, you don't need a BOB but a dedicated bag that has a flashlight, a couple bottles of water, granola bars, and a first aid kit should be the absolute minimum. This goes double if you have kids.
Hell even the gubment recommends that you be prepared with a 72 hr kit of some sort.
Worst case scenario, you can live in the woods for a few days if you Mother-in-law comes to visit. For Mother-in-law I recommend stashing a few bud-lights in the woods as sustenance.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Guess this is why I carry a Glock
I thought the timing of this post by Caleb worked out too well with me about to purchase a new ride. What kind of car is your gun?
I am way too practical, but I like my cars like I like my guns...reliable! All I want either to do is work when I expect it, I don't need any shiny metal or fancy features.
I also drool over other peoples guns, much like I do other peoples cars.
So what kind of gun is a mini-van?
I am way too practical, but I like my cars like I like my guns...reliable! All I want either to do is work when I expect it, I don't need any shiny metal or fancy features.
I also drool over other peoples guns, much like I do other peoples cars.
So what kind of gun is a mini-van?
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
New Car...nonsense
Looking at buying a new car...let the games begin! And may the odds be ever in your favor! I think I might break down and opt for a mini-van. I fell like such an old man!
I'm not even 30! I should be buying a Tundra and putting puppy crushers on that bitch! But nooooo! I am looking at a Honda odyssey like it is a rare ribeye with butter on top.
I'm not even 30! I should be buying a Tundra and putting puppy crushers on that bitch! But nooooo! I am looking at a Honda odyssey like it is a rare ribeye with butter on top.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Back in the USSR! Fireworks edition
Apparently I have re-gained some of the notoriety that I thought I had lost. Mother Russia is back on my map of views with a vengeance! I would like to say, Da and welcome back!
To help with all the Russians that are reading the ramblins of myself, I would like to let you in on what all the rednecks think you are like...
To help the Rednecks, this is what the Rooskies think you are like...
Southern Style... Helping people connect, one movie clip at a time!
If you would like me to help explain any other stereotypes I will be more than happy! The joe dirt is pretty accurate when it comes to fireworks and rednecks, I have never met a russian so I assume they are all like the dude from rocky.
Pretty sure all these stereotypes love AK-47s; who doesn't love a gun that will run with 3lbs of dirt in the action?
To help with all the Russians that are reading the ramblins of myself, I would like to let you in on what all the rednecks think you are like...
To help the Rednecks, this is what the Rooskies think you are like...
Southern Style... Helping people connect, one movie clip at a time!
If you would like me to help explain any other stereotypes I will be more than happy! The joe dirt is pretty accurate when it comes to fireworks and rednecks, I have never met a russian so I assume they are all like the dude from rocky.
Pretty sure all these stereotypes love AK-47s; who doesn't love a gun that will run with 3lbs of dirt in the action?
Holy Shit! 500 views
I have just realized that my 500 views is a drop in the bucket for most people. Well guess what? Its a lot for me so suck it! Being that it took me only 1/2 a month to get to this milestone, my next update will be around 700 or so, but I don't really know when the mood will strike me.
On the eve of my 500 views I present a fantastic feat of comedic genius...if you haven't seen the full stand up, it is F'ing hilarious.
Enjoy ladies and gents!
On the eve of my 500 views I present a fantastic feat of comedic genius...if you haven't seen the full stand up, it is F'ing hilarious.
Enjoy ladies and gents!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Fishin' Update
Man, we didn't catch much other that a bit of a buzz. We got 2 bass and a few sunfish, it was a tough day on the lake. It started out raining, got humid as all get out, then cleared up. The only thing that kept us from leaving of getting drunk as hell was the weather. Got some lake time in which is always better than working.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Fishin'
Heading out to go fishing at some point this weekend! Finally, its been way too long since I wet a line!
Anyone got a suggestion as to what the bass are hitting on currently? The water should be a bit murky since we have had a monsoon every other day it seems.
Hook a brother up with some suggestions, will post the pics as the fish come in!
Anyone got a suggestion as to what the bass are hitting on currently? The water should be a bit murky since we have had a monsoon every other day it seems.
Hook a brother up with some suggestions, will post the pics as the fish come in!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Gun Toys .22 edition
Great article on the survival guns, namely the .22. .22 Rifles for Survival.
I don't care if you are a fan of the 9mm vs .45 argument, one thing most people can agree on is that the .22 is a cheap and fun way to get in some trigger time. It will work for hunting everything from squirrels to beer cans and everything in between.
Did I mention that it is cheap?
I don't care if you are a fan of the 9mm vs .45 argument, one thing most people can agree on is that the .22 is a cheap and fun way to get in some trigger time. It will work for hunting everything from squirrels to beer cans and everything in between.
Did I mention that it is cheap?
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Update on iPhone
Big fan of the otterbox camo case for the iPhone, works like a champ...you know what else works like a champ, red wine. It is quite delicious.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
iSouthern
So I broke down and finally gave up on my android POS (piece of shit) phone that I had fought with for 2 years. Apparently the strain of my day to day was more than it could bear. I have joined the league of hipster douchebags and bought an iPhone.
Upon purchasing this phone I am fully qualified to lecture you on: global warming, tight jeans, economics, going green, eating right (read vegan), tom's shoes, wide rim glasses, buckwheat pillows, health effects of green tea, vintage everything, being ironic, why you should be ironic too!, fair trade coffee, the plight of the (insert country here), lightbulbs, living in my moms basement, trying to find a job "that pays"(read 150k right out of college), deforestation, raising chickens, WWF (not the wrestling one), WWF ( the wrestling one), comic books, paul frank, physics, "being metro", why being metro gets chicks, occupying anything, douche canoes, and why being a hipster is cool.
I'm not saying that having an iPhone makes you a hipster douchebag, but it might.
In all honesty this is a pretty badass phone, I can see what the hype is about.
They also make a case that has realtree camo.
Upon purchasing this phone I am fully qualified to lecture you on: global warming, tight jeans, economics, going green, eating right (read vegan), tom's shoes, wide rim glasses, buckwheat pillows, health effects of green tea, vintage everything, being ironic, why you should be ironic too!, fair trade coffee, the plight of the (insert country here), lightbulbs, living in my moms basement, trying to find a job "that pays"(read 150k right out of college), deforestation, raising chickens, WWF (not the wrestling one), WWF ( the wrestling one), comic books, paul frank, physics, "being metro", why being metro gets chicks, occupying anything, douche canoes, and why being a hipster is cool.
I'm not saying that having an iPhone makes you a hipster douchebag, but it might.
In all honesty this is a pretty badass phone, I can see what the hype is about.
They also make a case that has realtree camo.
400 views...free computers!
To tell the truth, I thought that this blogging thing would fade after about 30+ posts. I keep getting views so I am going to keep the ramblings coming in hot!
Thank all 400 of you and the 3 people that have clicked the ads, I am only 297 ad clicks away from the free computer I mentioned in the 300 views post. Its a clever title that gets people to come check the blog and then get sucked into the world that is Southern Style. Also a side note to the jokers who think I actually proofread my ramblings, suck it (you know who you are).
In honor of the 400 views I bring you a piece from one of film's greatest achievements.
Also good advice if you are trying to pick up chicks. By my calculations 60% of the time, it works everytime
Disclaimer: do not do this to try and pick up chicks, not saying it won't work, but it might get you a trip to the pokey
Thank all 400 of you and the 3 people that have clicked the ads, I am only 297 ad clicks away from the free computer I mentioned in the 300 views post. Its a clever title that gets people to come check the blog and then get sucked into the world that is Southern Style. Also a side note to the jokers who think I actually proofread my ramblings, suck it (you know who you are).
In honor of the 400 views I bring you a piece from one of film's greatest achievements.
Also good advice if you are trying to pick up chicks. By my calculations 60% of the time, it works everytime
Disclaimer: do not do this to try and pick up chicks, not saying it won't work, but it might get you a trip to the pokey
Butthurt
No, I am not really butthurt about anything currently, I really wanted to use that as a title to a post. I'll tell you who is butthurt, my child. She is currently cutting about 3 teeth at the same time and is very butthurt to say the least.
Its amazing that you can take a relatively normal child and introduce teething and she turns into an angry drooling midget. The nice part is that you can give her some cottage cheese and all is good in her world.
On second thought, I am butthurt. After her morning nap, the little redneck decided to drop a deuce the size of a VW bug. As I was changing her, she decided to put her hand in said VW bug, which then got on my hand. Great way to start the day!!
Ace- Thanks for the comments
If you don't know what butthurt means, you need to start watching Workaholics
Its amazing that you can take a relatively normal child and introduce teething and she turns into an angry drooling midget. The nice part is that you can give her some cottage cheese and all is good in her world.
On second thought, I am butthurt. After her morning nap, the little redneck decided to drop a deuce the size of a VW bug. As I was changing her, she decided to put her hand in said VW bug, which then got on my hand. Great way to start the day!!
Ace- Thanks for the comments
If you don't know what butthurt means, you need to start watching Workaholics
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
AMERICA!!! HELL YEAH!!
Happy 4th of July everyone! Thanks to all those who serve this great country!
Lee Greenwood says it best! This song should be looped on every radio station for July 4th!
Realizing I have been trained
This is some bullshit!
As you know I am rocking it bachelor style this week, which is pretty chill. However, some ass face is running around behind me putting the toilet seat down after I hit the head. I have searched the entire house, gun in hand, but there are no ass clowns about, much less a toilet nazi roaming my halls.
Then it hits me...I have been trained! Damn women ( yes the entire gender)! What the hell, at one point I was a dude who put the seat down for no one...then today I realize that I have been putting the seat down for a while now (pretty sure it started when my lady was pregnant with the little redneck). That was out of commmon decency, who wouldn't put a seat down for a pregnant lady?
Turns out it was a 9 month training course, I have been bamboozled!
On a side note, bachelor week is sponsored by Bud Light and toilet seats in the upright position.
As you know I am rocking it bachelor style this week, which is pretty chill. However, some ass face is running around behind me putting the toilet seat down after I hit the head. I have searched the entire house, gun in hand, but there are no ass clowns about, much less a toilet nazi roaming my halls.
Then it hits me...I have been trained! Damn women ( yes the entire gender)! What the hell, at one point I was a dude who put the seat down for no one...then today I realize that I have been putting the seat down for a while now (pretty sure it started when my lady was pregnant with the little redneck). That was out of commmon decency, who wouldn't put a seat down for a pregnant lady?
Turns out it was a 9 month training course, I have been bamboozled!
On a side note, bachelor week is sponsored by Bud Light and toilet seats in the upright position.
Jimmy Fallon Sucks
Is anyone else tired of the "who doesn't want cash back?" commercial.
I wish that every time Jimmy Fallon shows up on TV, the baby would take its diaper and shove it in his face. He is quite possibly the most annoying person on TV today (that includes his show late night...does he still have that?).
Fingers are crossed for Jimmy Fallon to have a poop face for 4th of July.
You know what I think would be fun, have the baby from the investment commercials comment during the cash back commerical.
Ohh yeah...by the way Jimmy Fallon SUCKS!
favorite commercial is William Duvane(sp) for Goldline, one of the most exciting commercials ever!
I wish that every time Jimmy Fallon shows up on TV, the baby would take its diaper and shove it in his face. He is quite possibly the most annoying person on TV today (that includes his show late night...does he still have that?).
Fingers are crossed for Jimmy Fallon to have a poop face for 4th of July.
You know what I think would be fun, have the baby from the investment commercials comment during the cash back commerical.
Ohh yeah...by the way Jimmy Fallon SUCKS!
favorite commercial is William Duvane(sp) for Goldline, one of the most exciting commercials ever!
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