Birthday! Everybody get drunk!

My birthday is approaching, I am turning 30?!  Can I really be that old?  I guess so, due to a recent few interactions with people.

At the gym:

Me: Can you tell me what those chains from the barbell are for?
College aged kid: ugh, Yes Sir! They are for accommodating resistance.

He called me sir, I appreciated the answer and being polite.  But he called me sir!  I'm 30 not 40!  This is some bullshit!

I am aware that I have a few gray hairs, but I don't think I am a "sir" yet.


At the store buying beer:

Me: Do you need to see my ID?

Cashier: No, your good.  (note: this was at a walmart, not the store I go to on a weekly basis)

I think this is a prime time to have a mid-life crisis and buy a Ferrari, unfortunately I haven't had enough ads clicked yet to afford said Ferrari.  Based on the ad clicks from this site, I can buy a miniature hotwheels Ferrari...just like the real thing!

Next stop...telling those youngsters to get the fuck off my lawn!!!!

Gun Toys! Stag Arms Excutive Survivors Kit Edition

Ususally I would like to throw you some badass ideas about the cool shit that I see online, but this speaks for itself.  Its minimalist, it will get you through about 3 days on bare bones and you get a badass rifle / case combo out of it!  I would take one of these in a heartbeat! 

Personally I think that the pre-packaged BOBs and survival kits are for the birds, but this looks pretty nasty without the shitty mirror and whistle that come in most BOBs. 

Check it Yo! Stag Arms Executive Survivor Kit

IDPA: Match day with live updates...now with results

Just got registered and getting ready to start the festivities. Wish me luck!

I am going to try live updating for the stages.

10:12 first stage begins. Dude in my squad has copious amounts of chest hair coming out of his shirt
Just shot first stage only down 1

10:42 second stage here we go
Lots of distance on this stage lets see how I do
11:00 just shot, shat the bed on movement but did good on distance
Down 21 with 1 ftn. Shitty

11:13 stage 3 looks fun
11 down pretty good stage. Having fun!

11:34 getting hot! Last stage in the sun. Here we come shade! Get some!

12:09 stage 4 lit it up! Only down 1

12:46 stage 5 down 1 still kicking ass. This is like my golf game, shoot well but blow up on 1 hole we will see if I can pull out a top score like last time

1:12 waiting on the group ahead of us to get done with the stage! Come on bitches hurry up! I got cold beer waiting on me at the casa!

1:24 still waiting.... This rest period is throwing off my game

1:52 shot last stage down 13 not horrible but not breaking any records. All around good day I'm ready for next time!

Back at Casa De Redneck and kicking back a few cold ones and try to forget that second stage and the chest hair on that wookie that happened to be in my group


Please keep in mind when judging me for the scores that this is only my 2nd match ever! So when you look at that stage 2 score...eat it!

I hit the top 5 in my group!  that second stage can suck a fattie!  on to the next one

1000 Views!!! Bacon edition!!!

I surpassed the 1k a few days ago, but have been busy a hell for the last few weeks it seems.  I haven't even had a chance to get some hardcore practice done for the IDPA match this weekend.  I am going to be on it like white on rice. 

I had been wondering what to blog about for the 1k view fiesta, and settled on the fact that I was not going to write about politics being that it is so close to the election.  I am not going to write about badminton.

I am going to write about something that is near and dear to my heart, BACON!!!

Bacon is the world's best invention ever!  Ever since Sir Francis Bacon invented bacon the world has been ever grateful!  This salty meat snack is a flavor fiesta for your taste buds.  There is thick bacon, thin bacon, applewood bacon and pecanwood bacon.  There is no dish that is not well complemented by the lovely flavor profile of these tasty strips of swine.

I even tried to make bacon infused bourbon...did not turn out well, but I would never blame the bacon...must have been user error since bourbon is second only to bacon.

One of the best things ever is the spin offs of bacon.  From chocolate covered bacon, bacon soda, bacon pancakes if you are looking for something bacon related please visit Bacon Freak.

To quote a T-shirt given to me by my sister : Bacon is meat candy!




I am getting my IDPA goober vest embroidered with:
Powered by Bacon!

Thank all 1000 of you for looking at my drivel over the past few months, I do this to keep me sane and hopefully entertain someone other than Ace (who still to date is my only comment).  So hook it up with the comments and I will keep slinging the bullshit!  

Gun Toys! generally cool shit edition

If you have a gun safe, its usually crowded.  I have no idea why mine is overflowing with crap, I need to get in there and clean it out.  When I do that I am going to be hopping on the bandwagon with http://www.storemoreguns.com/.  These guys have some amazing solutions for the lack of space in that gun cabinet of yours.

It looks a bit pricey, but it keeps your precious pieces from getting dinged up and allows you to use the shelves for your other random shit.  Definitely going to be adding a few of these to my Christmas list


Paracord Bikini.  What else could be better, in every survival scenario there are two constants...the need for paracord and the need for boobs.  This fulfills both!


Nike+Fuel.  This is a cool little gizmo that tracks your movement turning it into fuel.  It sounds like a pedometer but better. As with everything, you can link it to your iPhone.


Airvent Wall Safe.  I am a big proponent of having a safe.  It keeps stupid people from getting into your stuff.  This nifty little guy fits in your wall and looks like an air vent.  I'm guessing its not bomb proof, but should keep the lazy nuckleheads that are looking for your goodies out for a bit.

IDPA practice...golf edition

My practicing for the match next weekend has been sidetracked by golf.  Golf, shooting, and fishing are my hobbies, unfortunately for me they are all expensive and time consuming. 

I have rationalized that by playing golf I am working on my grip strength and overall fitness (especially if I walk), so technically I am practicing for my impending match.  I played yesterday shot an 89 and am trying to get out today if it stops raining...

The next question is should I buy new golf shoes and a wedge or put that towards shooting accessories?

Also, I can have a few beers while playing golf...try doing that at an IDPA match. 

Nearing 1000 views which is pretty cool for me, I can't believe that my titles have enticed 1000 people to read my nonsense.  Get your asses ready for the 1000 views post, its going to be fucking epic!

IDPA...practice edition

I have begun my training for my IDPA match next Saturday, you want to know how?

By hitting golf balls and drinking beers!  Bring it on bitches!  I am going to dominate this match. Practice shall start tomorrow without drinking any beers, cause ya'know that whole guns and booze thing is not the best combo. 

I am enjoying my day before practice, practice...bring on the dry fire!!!!

Gun Toys: Green Laser edition

I need a laser for my pistol like a need another hole in my head, but for some reason I feel the need to get a crimson trace green laser. 

Got to give it to My gun Culture for a bad ass review on this new laser.  I am a big fan of the green lasers, they are easier to see and all around gnarly.  Wouldn't mind slapping this on my Glock for a few rounds at the range, it also looks ideal for home protection. 


Blog note:  I feel that I have been a bit angry sounding in my posts lately, it because there has been a rash of political douchbaggery. 

Gubment Motors, lets take over all the industries

I am a few days past due on this posting but couldn't let it go unmentioned.

Obama has finally said exactly what he wants to do, nationalize everything.  I am impressed with the honesty, usually he says one thing then finds a way to bend the nation over.  I haven't heard a lot about this in the news, but El Rushbo is on top of it.

Socialism at work

The gubment has no reason to be involved in any industry.  If your company is making a crap vehicle, you will lose customers and go out of business.  There will be other companies eager to increase their production in order to gain the market share you lost.  That is how a free market works.

Gun Toys!... DIY Oil Filter Suppressor edition

Oil Filter Can - Thanks Guns.com

Great little idea...yes
Effective...yes
Would I do it....NO

This is one of those things that is great in theory, but screwing a oil filter on the end of a gun, I would reserve it for a zombie apocalypse scenario. 

I don't want anything on the end of my gun that is not designed for bullets to pass through. 

Could be a great addition, could make your gun blow up...

I bet someone is putting an oil filter in their BOB as we speak

READ THIS! HOLY SHIT EDITION! HR 6357

Disclaimer:  I cannot find a full printing of what this bill entails, however based on the title, it is a travesty that we as Americans should ever feel it necessary to pass a bill with this title.  

This is one of those topics that most people should be able to agree on, HR 6357.  This bill prohibits the extrajudicial killing of American citizens.  Do we actually need that as a bill?  Are we in danger of being killed extra-judicially? 

I feel that needing a bill with this title means that our gubment can kill us whenever they want whether or not we need killing. 

Sorry if you missed it...prohibits the extrajudicial killing of American citizens. !!!!!!

Does that sound a bit off? 

Come on people!  How the hell is this acceptable?  Our gubment should be able to kill whoever it wants whenever it wants!  Right!!!  Screw the judicial branch of gubment! Right!!!  Screw the bill of rights! Who wants rights anyway????!!! Especially if its not approved by the gubment!!

I don't give a shit if you lean left or right politically, I think we can say that no bill has been submitted with a title like this under a republican....Ohhh wait I think there may have been one ( I will award a prize if you can name it!)

This is a wagon full of bullshit!  I don't normally link to pages I feel y'all wouldn't call noteworthy, but this one seems pretty on point  US Congressman Dennis Kucinich introduced HR 6357, a bill which aims to ‘prohibit the extrajudicial killing of United States citizens’ by the federal government. In other words, in the Land of the Free, they need to pass a law to prevent the government from indiscriminately murdering its own citizens.

Can you answer those questions honestly?  How do you feel about those answers? 

I would like to see a full posting of what is in the bill before I give it my full backing, please link to it if you find it...but based on title (which in gubment speak means they are going to use it to approve another way to screw you) it sounds promising

What do you think?

Gun Toys: Ruger 10/22 takedown

Figured I would weigh in on this since no one has reviewed this gun yet. 

How do you improve on a legendary .22?  Make it packable!  This is a great idea! 

The 10/22 was one of the first rifles I learned to shoot when I was in the indian guides (back when you could still call them that, but that is another post all together). It shoots straight, doesn't have a kick and costs about $.005 per shot. What more could you ask for? 

Ruger continues to improve on their classic designs, from the 10/22 to the Mark series plinkers.  The 10/22 was a great gun to take out into the woods, but has now become one that you can shove in your pack for the impending onslaught of squirrel zombies! 

This has made the short list of toys I would like to purchase in the near future, I will update once the first shots have been fired.  My guess is, if its anything like a normal 10/22, on target with about 200 rounds following shortly thereafter. 

Here is one of the few reviews of the 10/22 from Guns.com

Second hand liberal

This is a term coined by the redneck wife.  It is a great description of many of the people that I know.

Second hand liberal - noun - person who is fanatical about leftist views without doing any actual research on their own.  Political views are developed by facebook posts, believing obama ads, peta commercials and the occasional rachael maddow clip.   

If you are a lefty and came by it honestly, then good for you.  I don't agree with a damn thing you believe in, but I respect your freedom to be wrong.

These people are also the same ones that preach tolerance and peace, but when they don't agree with the stance of people who support chick-fil-a they pray for the patrons to "choke on their chicken sandwiches". 

If you think the Al Gore created the interwebs, your probably a second hand liberal...and a douche.

Chick-fil-A! Butthurt edition

A day late...I have intentionally held off on this topic till all of the nonsense of the week had run its course.
Here is what I am thinking on the Chick-fil-A nonsense.  First I am going to lay down what has happened...

Mr. Cathy, the Pres / big swinging D of Chick-fil-A came out saying he doesn't think that (to quote Caleb) "fanny-bangers" deserve to get married. 

1. Does this surprise you?  This Corp. is extremely Christian and value oriented. So why is that weird?  He's hard core christian and he doesn't approve of gay marriage.  Holy Shit!  I am amazed!

2.  It is a private company!  Why the hell should he care if you approve of his views or not?  They are exactly that...his views, he is not killing anyone.  Give him a break. 

3.  It is a damn good sammich!  Whoever picks the restaurant they eat at by the politics of management has too much free time...or is just looking to get butthurt over something.

4.  Free Speech!  This should have been number 1, but my organizational skills are lacking.  If he hates gays...then guess what? Who the hell cares.  If he is gay...then guess what?  Who the hell cares.  Refer to point #3

5.  Tolerance.  This is my favorite one!  I salivate about this point.  You know why?  Because the people that have coexist and tolerate stickers on the back of their priuses are the ones calling for this guy's head.  Gays are the new black, its OK for them to hate your for your beliefs, but freedom be damned if you don't agree with their lifestyle.  Whatever you do behind closed doors, is your own god damned business.  I don't flaunt the fact that I enjoy the company of a woman, don't flaunt whatever you like.  You want tolerance?  Then learn to tolerate the people that don't agree with your point of view, the rest of us have been forced to do just that, bite our tongues out of fear of being labeled a racist or homophobe.
I consider myself a libertarian/ conservative...and by doing so, I am forced to listen to a shit ton of douche-bags because I believe they have the right to speak their mind.

So the next time you run into someone who is preaching "tolerance" tell them to look into exactly what that means and then tell them to go fuck themselves.

- that "kiss in" looks like it went over like a wet fart
- despite what you see in the news, more people disapprove of same sex marriage than agree with it...look at the law recently passed in NC, also CA approved a ban on gay marriage.



Glad that this douche got fired...this poor girl at least has a job and is trying to better herself.
Hey douche...go fuck yourself

Badmiton/Welfare, cheating really? Butthurt warning!

Cheating in an Olympic sport that isn't really a sport shouldn't count.  Also cheating in a format that rewards poor performance should be expected.  Hmmm... That sounds very familiar!  Sounds a little bit like some welfare.  (brace yourself...someone is probably going to be butthurt about this one)

First, I must apologize to my redneck followers out there.  I have been out for a week and it has sucked.  I need to get to blogging on the phone, but the iphone and long sentences are not friends (kind of a weak excuse since my sentences and grammar suck).   I will try to be better.  Work is going nutz, and none of you have hooked me up with a publisher or a sponsor so no constant supply of Booda.  I am working on a ballz out power point presentation for my meeting tomorrow.  Back to the nonsense!

Maybe you haven't heard it, but I have!  They have updated the work requirements to be eligible for welfare, at first glance that sounds awesome.  Let’s get those free-loaders to actually do some damn work!  Not so lucky, according to the new regs quitting smoking, massage therapy, and helping people move qualify as working, therefore free money from uncie sam! 

You may be amazed, but I am actually cool with that paragraph.  You know what I am not cool with, is me working my ass off to the point where I can't even keep you guys updated for an entire week!  Ohhh, that and the fact that 20-30% of my paycheck is stolen from me every year to pay one of these ass clowns to quit smoking.

The next bit is going to sound insensitive.  It is…some people need assistance, but a majority of people on it are just lazy pieces. I would prefer we allow all military to retire after their service (4 yr min) and not work a day for the rest of their life.  They have done enough for this country.  Also, under my plan, if you serve, then the below paragraphs would not apply to you as you would not be on welfare.

Also, welfare should be exactly what it sounds like....SHIT.  Welfare should be a shade above prison (old school prison…no TVs, weights and mandatory communal showers).  It should be a last stop before homelessness.  It should allow you the bare necessities to SURVIVE!

No cars- if you can afford a car then you don’t need welfare, if you have rims…

-         There are bus routes near public housing for a reason!  No its not convenient…neither is working 40+ hours a week

-         if you cant take the bus…get a bike worked until the early 1900’s and most of China is still a big fan

No cell phones – really…you need a cell phone.  Home phones work pretty good, and I’m betting they are free in public housing.

No smoking (anything) - Smoking is a luxury, one I enjoyed for a few years and still miss…however, when I was broke as shit, I either rolled my own or stopped.

No Drugs – Again…a luxury, if you can afford drugs, you shouldn’t need assistance, if you are using your assistance to purchase drugs, then you shouldn’t be getting free money

No TV – Don’t need a TV to live!  Hell me and the Mrs. Redneck cut the cable tie all together when times got tough, it was a rough week getting used to it… Now I am actually enjoying the monsoon that renders my dish useless

Around now in the post you are probably thinking, “this redneck is one insensitive SOB”.  You may be right. 
I would like to hold the people of the US to the same standards that I hold myself, I don’t expect everyone to work their asses off, nor do I expect everyone to excel.  Find a way to furnish the bare necessities and learn how to survive.

If any one is looking, for 100k/ yr I can give a hell of a shiatsu massage