Done!

Finally done with moving all of our shit out of casa de redneck! Closing the end of the week.

Ready to get into a new house ASAP with some more room and my very own playroom (read garage). It's going to be on like donkey kong ( yeah, I fucking said that dopey ass shit).

Pack it up

The packing is in full swing in the Redneck household.  We have boxes galore and should be ready to roll this weekend.  Why move the weekend after Thanksgiving?  Cause I like to make things a pain in the ass!

So the interuption in my ranting continues for a short time more.  I know that all my "homies" (to use a Biden gaffe) are chomping at the bit for me to start slinging some content that is worth a shit. 

But until then I will continue to bore you with details of packing and moving! 

Crunch time

We are approaching the exodus of our humble abode, therefore we are packing like crazy which has prevented me from posting a whole hell of a lot.  Truthfully, I haven't been a diligent as I should have been in the last month or two. 

Hopefully we will get packed the hell up and get into our new place quickly.  We are moving a bit out of the city limits of Charlotte, but not quite into the country as I would like. 

I will try to update over the next little bit. 

Update #1 - packing sucks a fat one


Side note:  Big thanks for my biggest view day ever at 149 views!  A large part of that was from Ireland, so cheers to the boys across the pond!  Apparently my nonsense is huge with the Irish, probably due to my constant mentions of drinking.

Ignorance is bliss

After the election, I have decided to start an "ignorance is bliss" campaign. 

I am not going to be watching the news in the AM, I am not listening to talk radio, but I am going to be checking Drudge / Fox / Twitter intermittently to keep up to date on the current events.

It has become a part of my life that creates undue stress, I have enough stress in my life, so I have decided to remove it and keep my radio tuned to some smooth jams.  OK, so maybe AC/DC is not smooth but it is fucking badass driving music. 

I am on day 3 and so far my stress level is at a level 3.7 out of 5. 

This is an improvement of code red level 5 on election night. 

Veterans Day

I know this is a day late, but THANK YOU to all our veterans.  Your sacrifice allows us to live safely in the greatest country in the world.   

Question for the gun nuts

What are your favorite gun / shooting websites? 

I have a few that I frequent, but am always looking for something new to waste time on. 

Hook a brotha up!!!

Back to the Grind

Getting back into packing mode trying to get ready for our move later this month, I have a lot of shit!

Should be relatively uneventful, hopefully.  I will try to keep the bitching to a minimum.  So to entertain you I have included a short video.

Well Shit! Gun Sales edition

Let the gubment hand outs begin.


Just a note for the republicans, get a candidate that is not a fucking moderate.  This is some bullshit.  Every time we worry about the fucking independents!  Just pick an actual conservative and see what happens. 

I know the gun industry is doing back flips thanks to the re-election of the best gun salesman in history.

Gun Post...finally! Pocket Pistol Edition

I know that I began this journey with some badass posts about guns then I went and began ranting about politics and stupid shit like McD's fucking up my order.  Well here you go on the gun tip!

Pocket pistol!

Yea! I said it! What of it! 

Over the years I have seen a plethora of people for/against pocket carry.  If you listen to the argument they range from people not wanting anything less that a full size 1911 (who would carry anything less?); to people that would rather not carry anything, than carry a puny little .32 cal pocket pistol.  Well guess what?  I am a huge fan of pocket pistols! 

Would you like to know why?

Cause they are fucking easy to hide! 

I am not one fortunate enough to be able to wear my Blackhawk pants with my tactical boots, tactical socks, riggers belt, tanto blade SOG and douche vest to hide the 20" bull barreled AR-15 that is my EDC weapon.  I forgot to mention the full size Limited Edition Tactical Kimber 1911 with light that I carry SOB loaded to the gills with 4 back up "clips".  

If you actually EDC an AR-15 due to being an armed service member, THANK YOU!  Please disregard the rest of the nonsense. 

Well guess what?  I have to wear slacks and at a minimum a golf shirt daily.  This fashion choice prohibits me from carrying anything other than a pocket pistol, which is my little Kel-tec .32 (originally bought during the .380 shortage).  It is comfortable, it fucking works, and it is small enough that I actually carry the damn thing on a daily basis.  So I guess you could put me in the group of people who believe the gun that you carry is the best kind of gun.

Do I think that a .32 is the most effective round?  Fuck NO!  Do I think that anyone would want to get shot by one?  Fuck NO!

If you can find a way to squeeze a .50 into a pocket (must fit in a normal pocket) pistol that can shoot without ripping off my hand, I will by 2 tomorrow. 

Would I rather have a .32 than just my knife?  Any fucking day of the week!  At worst case I can really piss someone off before I subject them to my back up .22 derringer that I keep in my handy dandy taint holster!  Remember 2 is 1, 1 is in my taint. (don't worry! I keep it in condition 3) 

So in summation, if you want to carry a gun, buy a gun you will actually carry.  Then carry the damn thing!




So you wanted a gun post?  I hope I didn't disappoint.  



There will be an election post! Just you wait!

It's for your safety

Well, it sounds like Baltimore has officially gone down the shitter along with the rest of the north east.

The gubment is going to start recording all conversations on their buses. But that's fine, it going to keep you safe!

http://t.co/iJRdWiWg

What do you think about this one? I find it funny how if you mention "big brother" you're a nut job. But when it happens are you still nuts?

Let the Boo-hooing begin! Douche Canoe edtion

It doesn't matter who wins, the other side will be bitching and moaning for the next 2 months.  Hopefully DOG 2012 will pull this one out.  She has mentioned that pooping in the neighbor's yard is the best revenge.  On the upside, those shitty ads will (hopefully) be off my TV.

I am a fan of the commercials sometimes, just for the hyperbole.  You get some not far from  " (insert GOP candidate here) forces old people to cook meth in their bathtub, if you vote for (insert democrat here) I will not make old people cook meth in their bathtub.  This message paid for by the anti-oldpeoplecookingmethcoalition.org"

Speaking of TV, does anyone else loathe the Geico commercials with the two douches (douche canoe) playing the guitar and mandolin?  Hey I have a question for Geico.  How fucking annoying are your commercials? More annoying than a political ad...go fuck yourself. 
 

Got our home inspection for the sale this morning, wish us luck!  Hopefully we will be good to go for the closing on our hacienda.

Gotta go to work!

Cock punching...old people edition

This is funny / disturbing...commentary below



Does anyone else feel the excuses coming?  How many times did they reference "stealing the election"? 

Think they are trying to start the narrative?  Let me break it down for you!  This is the best way to go into the election.  The commies win they can say, "see even with you trying to fix the election, we still won!"  If the commies lose they can say, " you stole the election, so you didn't really win!" 

Its like playing ro-sham-bo with a eunuch! 

I am a most irreverent person, however this is a bit over the line during election season.  Politically, I want to say "if a republican did this, the media would shit a brick".  However, the measuring stick is slanted in the commies direction.

I really hope 'ol Mitt wins...then Fox News should run an ad that says "Nanny nanny boo boo- stick your head in doo doo!

Truth! Voter Guide Edition

Brought to you by
Doubletroubletwo.blogspot.com

Stole this one from Angrymike!  

I do have to point out the typo on "Air Jordon's".  Pretty sure its Jordan, nonetheless its quite accurate.

Victory! Townhome living edition

We finally got an offer on our house.  It had been for sale for a while and I had given up hope of it actually selling.  This is some of the best news I have had in a while.  Looks like the rednecks are going to be moving on to a, hopefully, bigger domicile and town home living will be in our rear view. 

For those of you that have never lived in a townhome, I do not reccomend it.  Especially if you are planning on having a family of any size!  The lack of outdoor space is a huge drawback!  Finally we get to start looking at bringing our stuff out of storage. 

Awesome! Guest Post

My buddy Angrymike has some great content, this is one of the best ones I have seen!  

Angrymikes hood: Totaly looks like........: Yep

Vote

Go out and vote. 

I voted today, still can't figure out why you wouldn't go vote.  This is a big deal, kinda like picking which beer to buy when they are all the same price.  (answer: Bud Light).  

Anyone with a brain know why the electoral college exists?  Seems like bullshit to me. 

So let me get this right, the popular vote, which is who gets more voters overall, doesn't mean shit.  However the Northeast and California comprise a majority of the people that get to decide who runs the country. 

What they need to do is elect DOG 2012!

Today, she thumbed her nose at the commies by licking her own ass in their general direction. 


Also, I would like to say thank you to Mrs. Redneck, she is the best in the world, for all the love and support she gives me and DOG 2012.  I am the hype man, she is the campaign manager.  Please contact her for any of your DOG 2012 merchandise. 



Would any of you buy a Southern Style shirt?

Debate...sucked...DOG 2012 edition

That was some boring shit to watch...I went to bed at 9:45. You know why?  Cause that was boring as shit! 

I did like Barry's "the 1980's called and want their foreign policy back"...Oh yea!!  Well the 1990's called and they want their joke back! 

We need to skip the debate and just have a cage match between the two candidates.  First one to tap out loses the debate.  For foreign policy debate they should dress as their favorite country, Mitt could be America and Barry could rock the rooskies' hammer and sickle.
 
It would be like Rocky, featured here once before. Tell me you wouldn't pay good money to hear old Barry say "I must break you"


I would also like to thank all the douches on facebook for trying to guide my political views, it has changed the way I viewed the election and am now voting for my dog.  Her foreign policy of shitting in my neighbors yard is spot on. How can you beat a policy like that?  Wake up, shit on the commies' lawn, eat some breakfast, and take a nap.

DOG 2012 

Debate Hype!

Alright boys and girls, the final debate is upon us!!  We get to see banter the likes of which have never been seen.  This one will have it all!  Laughter, crying, and a guest appearance by Ron Paul in a non-optimal outfit. 

I am a bit biased, but I think the smart money is on Ron Paul to pop out of the audience in his oversized suit and school both of the candidates on foreign policy. 

So stock up on booze and take a shot every time Obama says "that's not true" or Mitt throws out his "five point plan". 

Chug a beer anytime either candidate tells a half-truth....fuck it!!! Just drink a case a beer and save having to keep score!


Ohh yea, fun in the news - depending on which news you watch gas prices are going to sky rocket, or drop!


Also - go hit up http://shop.balloongoesup.com/ ....Ron has a badass store

Debate fest!

I wish I would have slept for the first 45 minutes of that damn debate, it was a fight to make me want to drink more.  Romney was touting his 5 finger death punch plan and Obama was hyping his "fairness is the way to prosperity (read socialism)" without an actual plan. 

Points I actually liked were right before I went to bed around 10 (yea, I'm a slack ass). 

Romney's answer to the immigration question, that was a good answer in my book.  Actually made it sound like illegal immigration was, well...illegal. 

Romney's beat down right before I went to bed, seems like he went on a 5 minute ass whooping fest of Obama's policies and record

Obama- sounded rhetorical at best, loved reading about his gun-control answer this morning.  Headlines should read  "Gun Sales Soar".  Gun shop owners must love this guy! 

Can we get a moderator that doesn't look like a man?  I have given up on getting one that is not biased.

What did I miss?  Any favorite quotes?

Getting Hyped for the Debate!

I am getting hyped for tomorrow's debate!  Hopefully it will be a repeat ass kicking for the current Pres.  I am stocking up on some beer and sustenance to help me wade through the BS.

How was the VP debate?  I wasn't able to watch it, I was on a golf outing with my buddies and politics was not on the schedule, drinking was. 

Butthurt! Media Bias Edition

Man, I'm sure Obama is really butthurt about the state dept. coming out saying that the Libya attacks were never about that piece of shit movie.  It amazes me to watch how the media treats the US people like a bunch of morons.  (insert if it was a republican rant here)

Its not just the if it was a repbulican, I don't care who the hell was trying to mislead the US people!  The media should be on this story like white on rice!  Why is the everyone so damn eager to make this administration look like they haven't shit the bed?  You're the media, your supposed to report the news not cover up for the guy you want in November. 

They fucked up!  That should be the headline.  That or "They Lied".

Who is getting hyped up for the VP debate, I'm curious to see how Biden looks after having been kept out of the public eye to protect him from himself. 

Just to get you ready for the debate, here is a preview of Our VP Joe Biden

This work thing keeps getting in the way

This pesky work thing keeps getting in the way of sending y'all some badass content!  I will have some shenanigans en route shortly.  Just bear with me a bit more and I will post a video of something to entertain you.

Debate

Awesome fucking debate!

Obama Phone!!

First, as I do from time to time, I have to apologize.  Not for my content, if you don't like it you can go fuck yourself, but for my lack of content.  I have been working like a dog for the past 2 weeks and have not had time to get this blogfest rolling properly.

On to the shenanigans!

Obama Phone!

This sums up the presidency of Barack Hussein Obama, he gives people shit and they continue to vote for him.  What else can be said?  This is fucking ridiculous!  If you want to know my view of welfare, feel free to check out my post badmiton / welfare cheating...really? Butthurt warning


It's people with this mentality that are ruining our country...they have found out that they don't have to do a damn thing, except vote for more socialism (obama).  I would love to give these people a job, just so they know how much it sucks to have to pay taxes so other people can get a fucking free cell phone.  (aka: getting kicked in the dick)

Actually for the lazy ones, I am still offering my services - "Get kicked in the dick free of charge here!"

Update: AngryMike has stepped up to the plate to offer a free ass kicking to round out the package!

I don't know who said it, but there is a quote that I am going to butcher...it goes something like this:

"Why is is called greed to want to keep money you have earned, but not to take money you have not?"

USMC 50 Cal Bottle opener help!

I need some help, I am looking for a 50 cal bottle opener for my father in law.  I have the NRA version, once he saw this he flipped! 

Any help is appreciated, he is a USMC Vietnam veteran (helicopter gunner who shot a 50) and I would like to hook him up with a kick ass birthday present. 

Does anyone know where to find one of these??


Thanks for the help in advance!